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| Posted by Hector R. Cruz on 09-Aug-2005 | $100 PleaseA little boy wanted $100, badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing
happened. Then he decided to write a letter to the Lord requesting the $100.
When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to the Lord, USA, they decided to send it to President Clinton. The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill. President Clinton thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 and sat down to write a thank-you note to the Lord. It said:
Dear Lord,
Thank you very much for sending me the money. However, I noticed that
for some reason you had to send it through Washington, DC and as
usual, those jerks deducted $95.
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| Posted by ~SwEeT*HeArT~ on 09-Aug-2005 | Making new brotherOne night little Johnny got up to get a drink of water.... while walking past his parents he was forced to stop and scream daddy daddy what are you doing to mommy.
The dad simply replied mmmm??¦ just making your brother Johnny ??¦..go back to bed.
The next day when the dad got home from work he found Johnny crying on the stoop ....he asked Johnny what was wrong and Johnny replied oh daddy this morning I saw the mailman trying to eat my new brother
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| Posted by Mike A. Rotch on 09-Aug-2005 | No honeyLittle Johnny (that little bugger again!) was being particularly reckless one day. He was playing in the backyard when some honeybees started swirling around, annoying him. He began stomping on them in a temper and his father saw him.
'That's it. No honey for you for one month.'
Later, Johnny pondered over some butterflies and soon started catching them and crushing them under his feet. His father again caught him and after a brief moment of thought said, 'No butter for you for one month.'
Early that evening, Johnny's mother was cooking dinner and got jumpy when cockroaches started scurrying around the kitchen floor. She began stomping on them one by one until all the cockroaches were dead.
Johnny's mother looked up to find Johnny and his father standing there watching her, to which Johnny said, 'Are you going to tell her, Daddy, or do you want me to?'
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| Posted by Katya V. Andrushchenko on 09-Aug-2005 | Rich kidTwo poor kids go to a birthday party at a rich kid's house. The kid is so rich that he has his own swimming pool and all the kids go in.
As they're changing afterwards, one of the poor kids says to the other one, "Did you notice how small the rich kids' penises were?"
"Yeah," says his mate, "It's probably because they've got toys to play with."
Submitted by calamjo
Edited by Yisman
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| Posted by Gillian Cheng on 09-Aug-2005 | Your an 8Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go to the toilet.
He yelled out,
'Miss Jones, I need to have a piss!'
Miss Jones replied,
'Now Johnny, that is not the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is urinate. Please use the word urinate in a sentence correctly and I will allow you to go.'
Little Johnny thinks for a bit, then says, 'You're an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a 10.'
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| Posted by Leland W. Hack on 11-Aug-2005 | Deep Dark SecretsAt school, a boy is told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth" even when you don't know anything.
The boy decides to go home and try it out. As he is greeted by his mother at the front door he says, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father."
Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day, when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth."
The mailman drops the mail, opens his arms and says, "Then come give your FATHER a big hug!"
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