|
|
 |
|
 |
 |
| Posted by Mary on 11-Aug-2005 | 12 Days of Christmas sent from MexicoOn the first day of Christmas my true love sent to me
A Marachi band playing just for me.
On the second day of Christmas my true love sent to me,
2 pounds of tortilla chips.
A Marachi band playing just for me.
On the third day of Christmas my true love sent to me,
3 Habenero Peppers (oh hot!)
2 pounds of tortilla chips.
A Marachi band playing just for me.
On the fourth day of Christmas my true love sent to me,
4 bowls of salsa.
3 Habenero Peppers (oh hot!)
2 pounds of tortilla chips.
A Marachi band playing just for me.
On the fifth day of Christmas my true love sent to me,
5 gallons of Mescal.
4 bowls of salsa.
3 Habenero Peppers (oh hot!)
2 pounds of tortilla chips.
A Marachi band playing just for me.
On the sixth day of Christmas my true love sent to me,
6 tiny key limes.
5 gallons of Mescal.
4 bowls of salsa.
3 Habenero Peppers (oh hot!)
2 pounds of tortilla chips.
A Marachi band playing just for me.
On the seventh day of Christmas my true love sent to me ,
7 pints of vanilla.
6 tiny key limes.
5 gallons of Mescal.
4 bowls of salsa.
3 Habenero Peppers (oh hot!)
2 pounds of tortilla chips.
A Marachi band playing just for me.
On the eighth day of Christmas my true love sent to me,
8 Homemade Tamales.
7 pint of vanilla.
6 tiny key limes.
5 gallons of Mescal.
4 bowls of salsa.
3 Habenero Peppers (oh hot!)
2 pounds of tortilla chips.
A Marachi band playing just for me.
On the ninth day of Christmas my true Love sent to me,
9 Cartons of Marlboro.
8 Homemade Tamales.
7 pint of vanilla.
6 tiny key limes.
5 gallons of Mescal.
4 bowls of salsa.
3 Habenero Peppers (oh hot!)
2 pounds of tortilla chips.
A Marachi band playing just for me.
On the tenth day of Christmas my true love sent to me,
10 Ripened Mango's.
9 Cartons of Marlboro.
8 Homemade Tamales.
7 pint of vanilla.
6 tiny key limes.
5 gallons of Mescal.
4 bowls of salsa.
3 Habenero Peppers (oh hot!)
2 pounds of tortilla chips.
A Marachi band playing just for me.
On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love sent to me,
11 boxes of Chicklets.
10 Ripened Mango's.
9 Cartons of Marlboro.
8 Homemade Tamales.
7 pint of vanilla.
6 tiny key limes.
5 gallons of Mescal.
4 bowls of salsa.
3 Habenero Peppers (oh hot!)
2 pounds of tortilla chips.
A Marachi band playing just for me.
On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love sent to me,
12 Bottles of Corona.
11 boxes of Chicklets.
10 Ripened Mango's.
9 Cartons of Marlboro.
8 Homemade Tamales.
7 pint of vanilla.
6 tiny key limes.
5 gallons of Mescal.
4 bowls of salsa.
3 Habenero Peppers (oh hot!)
2 pounds of tortilla chips.
A Marachi band playing just for me.
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
| Posted by radioactive peanut on 11-Aug-2005 | Rudolf the Bengal tigerRudolf the Bengal reindeer. Copyright Mrs. G.Parry
(To the traditional tune of ???¬?Rudolf the red nosed reindeer???¬? and last verse ???¬?Santa clause is coming to town???¬?, played on Indian instruments.)
Rudolf the Bengal reindeer, had a very stripy coat.
And if you ever saw him, you would know it???¬??s not a joke.
All of the other reindeer,
Used to laugh and call him names.
They wouldn???¬??t let poor Rudolf,
Join in any reindeer games.
Then one foggy Christmas Eve,
Santa called to say,
Rudolf with your coat so bright,
Won???¬??t you pull my sleigh tonight.
Rudolf the Bengal reindeer
With a very shinny smile.
Knew that his luck was changing,
in a very little while.
Then how the reindeer worried
And they shouted out in fear
Rudolf the Bengal reindeer
He was getting much too near.
A sleigh with presents all aboard
A busy night ahead
Santa thought it very weird
How his Reindeer disappeared.
Rudolf the Bengal reindeer, had a very stripy coat.
And if you ever saw him, you would know its not a joke.
All of the elves and Santa
Knew that Rudolf couldn???¬??t stay
They wouldn???¬??t let poor Rudolf
They all chased him far away.
You???¬??d better watch out
You???¬??d better take care
You???¬??d better not cry
I???¬??m telling you why
Rudolf is coming to town
Grrrrrr.
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by lisa g on 11-Aug-2005 | ChristmasPositive Thinking for Christmas
Lately there???¬??s been a lot of negative images and about Christmas conjured up. Usually it???¬??s from TV, movies, books, and the Internet. This makes for a sad, dreary Christmas, just the opposite, as what it should be. To cheer up the dreariness, caused by these negatives, the following list should be used. First is listed the negative idea or image. Then is the positive thinking needed to replace those negatives. So with positive thinking everyone will have a Joyous and Happy Christmas Season.
1. Negative
On TV and in movies Santa Claus shown as a drunk being hauled of to jail.
Positive
Think of how easy it is to get a bicycle, instead of your usual lump of coal, by mugging Santa.
2. Negative
How Santa might not get to your house before morning, because of a blizzard.
Positive
How fast the sled and reindeer can fly with a 60 mile per hour tail wind.
3. Negative
Elfs going on strike and there are no toys in the stores to be given to you as presents.
Positive
The money you save by rewrapping the presents you received last year and giving as presents this year.
4. Negative
You are getting no presents because Santa is too fat to fit down the chimney.
Positive
Think of how the reindeers feel after pulling a fat guy around the world in one night.
5. Negative
Thinking of what strange things an old man is doing in your living room in the middle of the night.
Positive
Tape Santas' visit and sell the tape as a video to a cable company that features New Rock Bands.
6. Negative
Grandma getting run over by a reindeer.
Positive
More presents for me.
7. Negative
Not getting presents, because the reindeers are sick and can???¬??t pull the sled.
Positive
More deermeat for Santa.
8. Negative
How it???¬??s really hard for Santa to get down the chimney with the fire burning full blast.
Positive
How easy it is for Santa to get up the chimney.
9.Negative
Santa and his reindeers getting shot down by a missile when coming into Canada from the North Pole.
Positive
Presents for the caribou.
10. Negative
How lonely Mrs. Claus gets with Santa away all Christmas Eve.
Positive
The one night a year to party with the Elfs.
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Justin D. Dickenson on 11-Aug-2005 | Top 10 Halloween Things10. She's a goblin!
9. I'd like to get a little something in the sack.
8. Let me see your bag....OH!-You're having a great night!
7. Just get on your hands and knees and bob your head.
6. She's got a couple of nice pumpkins on her porch
5. If you just lick it, it'll last longer.
4. Show me your JuJuBees and I'll let you see my Zagnuts.
3. Have your mom check it before you put it in your mouth,
2. You scared me stiff!
1. He's got Candy spread out on the living room floor!
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Me Mo on 11-Aug-2005 | Thanksgiving Forecast...Thanksgiving Forecast:
Turkeys will thaw in the morning, then warm in the oven to an afternoon high near 190F.The kitchen will turn hot and humid, and if you bother the cook, be ready for a severe squall or cold shoulder.
During the late afternoon and evening, the cold front of a knife will slice through the turkey, causing an accumulation of one to two inches on plates. Mashed potatoes will drift across one side while cranberry sauce creates slippery spots on the other. Please pass the gravy.
A weight watch and indigestion warning have been issued for the entire area, with increased stuffiness around the beltway.During the evening, the turkey will dimish and taper off to leftovers, dropping to a low of 34F in the refrigerator.
Looking ahead to Friday and Saturday, high pressure to eat sandwiches will be established.Flurries of leftovers can be expected both days with a 50 percent chance of scattered soup late in the day.We expect a warming trend where soup develops.By early next week, eating pressure will be low as the only wish left will be the bone.
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Mark B. Cullen on 11-Aug-2005 | Valentine's DayHearts and roses and What the hell is al People get mushy and st It is definatley the most annoying This day needs to get the hell ov Before i shove a dozen rose I'll spend the day so dru And wear all black for the Guys act all sweet, but i For all they are doing is tr The arrow Cupid shot at me m Because I think love is So heres my story...what Love bites my ass...Fuck Valentines Day!
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
