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| Posted by Iain Delaney on 09-Aug-2005 | 3 Day WeekendOne day, the teacher walks into her classroom and announces to the class that on each Friday, she will ask a question to the class and anyone who answers correctly doesn't have to go to school the following Monday.
On the first Friday, the teacher asks, "How many grains of sand are in the beach?" Needless to say, no one could answer.
The following Friday, the teacher asks the class, "How many stars are in the sky?"
Again no one could answer.
Frustrated, little Johnny decides that the next Friday, he would somehow answer the question and get a 3 day weekend.
So Thursday night, Johnny takes two ping-pong balls and paints them black.
The next day, he brings them to school in a paper bag. At the end of the day, just when the teacher says, "Here's this week's question," Johnny empties the bag to the floor sending the ping-pong balls rolling to the front of the room.
Because they are young kids who find any disruption of class amusing, the entire class starts laughing.
The teacher says, " Okay, who's the comedian with the black balls?"
Immediately, little Johnny stands up and says, "Bill Cosby, see ya on Tuesday!"
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| Posted by Jayne L. San Jose on 09-Aug-2005 | Tax?A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and his mother told him to pray to God for it.
He prayed and prayed for two weeks, but nothing turned up.
Then he decided, perhaps he should write God a letter requesting the $100.00.
When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, they opened it up and decided to send it to the President for a joke.
The President was so impressed, touched and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a check for $5.00. He thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.
The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 and sat down to write a thank you letter to God which ran as follows:
Dear God:
Thank you very much for sending me the money. I noticed that you had to send it through Washington D.C. As usual they deducted what they thought was their share, I only ended up with $5.00
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| Posted by Charlie Rich on 09-Aug-2005 | Fat LadyLittle boy is in line with his dad, waiting to check out. In front of them is a really fat woman.
Little boy looks her over and turns to his daddy and says, "She is really big and fat isn't she daddy?"
The father is embarrassed and tries to get son to quiet down.
In a few minutes the little boy yells out, "She is the biggest woman I have ever seen!"
The father is embarrassed to tears and bends over and tell his son, "We do not talk about people looking different from us, especially if they are fat. Don't do it again."
The little boy got the message and stood for a long time, until the woman's beeper went off.
He then yelled, "Look out daddy, she is backing up!"
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| Posted by Canadian seven seven eight on 09-Aug-2005 | Tasty Caterpillars?Are caterpillars good to eat?" asked little Tommy at the dinner table.
"No," said his father, "what makes you ask a question like that while we are eating?"
"You had one on your lettuce salad, but it's gone now," replied Tommy.
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| Posted by Jason A. Romig on 09-Aug-2005 | For The TeacherThe teacher walks in and finds an apple on her desk with the letters "ILU" written on it.
The teacher asks who left it.
A little white girl raises her hand.
Well sweetie, what does "ILU" mean?
The little girl replies, "I love you."
The teacher says, "Isn't that sweet," and continues with class.
The next day the teacher finds a banana on her desk with the letters "YAS" written on it.
The teacher asks who left and what does it mean.
A little white boy raises his hand and says, "It means, You are special."
"Thank you sweetheart", the teacher says.
The following day, the teacher walks in to find a watermelon with the letters "FUCK" written on it.
The enraged teacher asks who left it and if they know what that means.
A little black girl raises her hand and cheerfully says, "Yes maam, I left it.
It means, from us colored kids!".
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| Posted by Pierce J. Jones on 09-Aug-2005 | Tasting TestA teacher was testing her class's ability to taste by giving them life savers.
First she gave them all red ones and their hands went up, "cherry!"
"Very good," said the teacher.
Next she gave them a white one and they thought about it and finally one kid said, "peppermint?"
"excellent," said the teacher.
Finally she gave them honey- flavored brown ones. They tasted the life saver, but could not name the flavor.
"I'll give you a clue. It's something that your mommy calls your daddy" said the teacher.
Suddenly , Dirty Ernie shouted, "Quick ,spit them out ! They're ass holes!"
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