|
|
 |
|
 |
 |
():nerd jokes (650): Getting help from the government |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Princess foxy on 13-Aug-2005 | Helpful PharmacistUpon arriving home in eager anticipation of a leisurely evening, the husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, "It's the pharmacist, he insulted me terribly this morning on the phone."
Immediately the husband drove downtown to the pharmacy to demand an apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, the pharmacist told him, "Now, just a minute, listen to my side of it."
"This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I hurried out to the car, but I'll be damned if I didn't lock the house with both house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Then, about three blocks from the store I had a flat tire.
When I finally got to the store there was a bunch of people waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, and all the time the darn phone was ringing its head off. Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor. I got down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels, the phone is still ringing, when I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer. The phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got back to answer it.
It was your wife - she wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer. Well, Mister, I TOLD HER!"
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
():nerd jokes (650): Wrong Time, Wrong Place - 1990 Darwin Awards nominee |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Mindy L. Haag on 13-Aug-2005 | Wrong Time, Wrong Place - 1990 Darwin Awards nomineeA man tried to commit a robbery in Renton, Wash.
This was probably his first attempt, as suggested by the fact that he had no previous record of violent crime, and by his terminally stupid choices:
1) The target was H&J Leather & Firearms, a gun shop.
2) The shop was full of customers, in a state where a substantial portion of the adult population is licensed to carry concealed handguns in public places.
3) To enter the shop, he had to step around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door.
4) An officer in uniform was standing next to the counter, having coffee before reporting to duty.
Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a holdup and fired a few wild shots.
The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, promptly removing him from the gene pool.
Several other customers also drew their guns, but didn't fire. No one else was hurt.
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
