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| Posted by Suki on 09-Aug-2005 | A BBS Commandment4. Honor thy SysOp.
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| Posted by Matt Der on 08-Aug-2005 | How Chinese People name their kidsHow do chinese people name their kids?
Throw a fork at the wall and name their kid after the sound.
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| Posted by Michael Gailling on 14-Aug-2005 | Only in America...Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance...
Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink...
Only in America...do people order double cheese burgers, a large fry, and a diet coke...
Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters...
Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and leave useless things and junk in boxes in the garage...
Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place...
Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight...
Only in America...do we use the word "politics" to describe the process so well: "Poli" in latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "blood-sucking creatures"...
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| Posted by Krystal on 14-Aug-2005 | You Know You're Having a Bad Day When - Your horn sticks on the freeway behind 32 Hell's Angels motorcyclists.
- You've been at work 3 hours before you notice that your fly is open or your blouse unbuttoned.
- Your twin sister forgets your birthday.
- Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
- You call the suicide prevention hotline and they put you on hold.
- You have to sit down to brush your teeth in the morning.
- Everyone avoids you the morning after the company office party.
- Your income tax refund check bounces.
- It costs more to fill up your car than it did to buy it.
- The bird singing outside your window is a vulture.
- You wake up and your braces are stuck together.
- Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife/husband.
- You put both contacts into the same eye.
- Your mother approves of the person you're dating.
- Your doctor tells you that you're allergic to chocolate.
- You have to borrow from your Visa card to pay your Mastercard.
- Nothing you own is actually paid for.
- Everyone loves your driver's licence picture, but you think it looks awful.
- The health inspector condems your office coffee maker.
- You invite the peeping Tom in... and he says no.
- The Gypsy fortune teller offers to refund your money when she sees your future.
- People think that you're 40 and you're only 25.
- When the doctor tells you are in fine health for someone twice your age.
- You call your spouse and tell them that you'd like to eat out tonight and when you get home, your find a sandwich on the front porch.
- You start to put on the clothes that you wore home from the party last night...... and there aren't any.
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| Posted by Michael D. Marchand on 13-Aug-2005 | Yo Family's so...Yo Mama So Fat....
...she fell in love and she broke it
...she jumped on a scale and it said "to be continued"
...she jumped on a scale and it said "one at a time please"
...she jumped on a dollar and got four quarters
...she's got her own area code
...her measurements are 36-24-36, and her other arm is just as big
...when God said let there be light, he told her to move her ass over
...she smokes a turkey after sex
Yo Mama's so old...
...she was in Jesus's yearbook
...when God said let there be light, she flipped the switch
...her driver's license number is one
Yo Family's So Poor...
...your house has a kickstand
...you have to go home and take off your clothes so your father has pants to go to work
Yo Dad's So Bald...
...he reaches into his pants just to run his fingers through his hair
Yo House is so Nasty...
...the roaches wear shoes
...you wipe your feet before going out
Yo Mama's So Stupid...
...she thought a quarterback is a refund
...I gave a penny for her thoughts and got change back
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| Posted by Cher_94 on 09-Aug-2005 | Fun to do during an examYou should not attempt these things during an actual exam. The following is meant for entertainment purposes only.
27. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"
Joke found on http://www.ahajokes.com
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