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| Posted by Ashley K. A on 13-Aug-2005 | A BIT RUDE BUT VERY FUNNYWhat do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Answer:lickalotofpuss
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| Posted by Lauren C. Mcguire on 14-Aug-2005 | Shop Keeper!one day, a man wanted to apply for being a shopkeeper in a
grocery store. So he then walked in to the shop and said," umm,
i want to be a shopkeeper." Then the manager said,"u any good?"
there was silence for a moment so then the manager takes the man
and shows him around and sez," O.K., we will start with a simple
question of a fine product of ours , OK?" and the man said OK.
So, the man pretended as a customer and asked," how much for
this pencil?" the man said," i dunno?" the manager got fustrated
and said, no u idiot! you are supposed to say 25cents! ok? he
said," yah". So he repeated the same thing and the manager was
pleased.Then he asked," how good is it?" the stupid man said,"
Beats me!" and so the manager said," no u moron!" it is best u
can get!!!" so the man said ok. he repeated himself again and
said," So should i buy it?" the man said," how am i supposed to
no!" the manager got fustrated and said," u are supposed to say
u better or someone else will!" so he said ok
The manager was satified so the stupid man was hired. A
bad ass punk walked in and said ," how old u kid?" he said
25cents! then the punk said," are u nuts?" the man said," best u
can get!" the punk then said," my GOSH!, want me to punch u in
the balls?" The stupid man replied with his last words as a
man," u better or someone else will!!!"
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| Posted by Penguin66 on 14-Aug-2005 | expensive barbieA guy walks into the Toys-R-Us toy shop in downtown Cleveland
and says to the assistant: "Could you please show me your Barbie
dolls? My daughter's birthday is today and I have to get
something she will love!"
She says, "Certainly, sir. Here, we have:
*Fashion Barbie @ $15.95
*Vacation Barbie @ $15.95
*Housewife Barbie @ $15.95 and
*Divorcee Barbie @ $215.95!"
The guy asks in astonishment,"Why is "Divorcee Barbie so much?
She looks the same to me."
The assistant answers, "Well, sir, Divorcee Barbie comes
complete with Ken's car, Ken's house, Ken's golf clubs, his
season tickets to the Tribe and the Browns, his Gold MasterCard,
his yacht and his summer home."
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| Posted by Jenna L. Reed on 07-Aug-2005 | A man walks into a bar and says, "Bartender,...A man walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me two shots."
Bartender says, "You want them both now or one at a time?"
The guy says," Oh, I want them both now. One's for me and one's
for this little guy here," and he pulls a 3 inch man out of
his pocket.
The bartender asks "He can drink?"
"Oh, sure. He can drink."
So the bartender pours the shots and sure enough, the
little guy drinks it all up.
"That's amazing" says the bartender.
"What else can he do, can he walk?"
The man flicks a quarter down
to the end of the bar and says, "Hey, Jake. Go get that." The
little guy runs down to the end of the bar and picks up the quarter.
Then he runs back down and gives it to the man.
The bartender is in
total shock. "That's amazing" he says, "what else can he do? Does
he talk?"
The man says "Sure he talks, hey, Jake, tell him about
that time we were in Africa hunting and you called that witch
doctor a Nigger!"
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| Posted by Andrew Bruno on 08-Aug-2005 | knock knock jokesknock knock
who's there
interupting moo cow
interupting moooooooooo
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| Posted by The Funny Jokester Guy on 09-Aug-2005 | Understanding MenMen, summed up:
The nice men are ugly.
The handsome men are not nice.
The handsome and nice men are gay.
The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.
The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.
The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.
The handsome men without money are after our money.
The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.
The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.
The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!
The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.
NOW ... WHO IN THE HELL UNDERSTANDS MEN?
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