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| Posted by The Man on 07-Aug-2005 | On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:...On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope
for.
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| Posted by Dan Becker on 07-Aug-2005 | In a Church parking lot:...In a Church parking lot:
Parking lot - for Members Only!
Trespassers will be baptized!
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| Posted by Nick G. Davis on 07-Aug-2005 | In a Yugoslavian hotel:...In a Yugoslavian hotel:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is
the job of the chambermaid.
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| Posted by kAoS on 07-Aug-2005 | Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan:...Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan:
Stop: Drive Sideways.
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| Posted by jsw240 on 07-Aug-2005 | Outside a Church:...Outside a Church:
No God - No Peace. Know God - Know Peace.
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| Posted by spike d. fuspfi on 07-Aug-2005 | In Admire, Kansas:...In Admire, Kansas:
"Admire Interchange"
Wow, that's some interchange!
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| Posted by Matt J. Mullen on 07-Aug-2005 | Classified Ad:...Classified Ad:
Tired Of Working For Only $9.75 Per Hour?
We Offer Profit Sharing And Flexible Hours.
Starting Pay: $7 - $9 Per Hour
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| Posted by John D on 09-Aug-2005 | In a Tacoma, Washington men'sIn a Tacoma, Washington men's clothing store: "15 men's wool suits, $10. They won't last an hour!"
On a shopping mall marquee: "Archery Tournament-Ears pierced"
Outside a country shop: "We buy junk and sell antiques."
In the window of an Oregon store: "Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here?"
In a Maine restaurant: "Open 7 days a week and weekends."
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| Posted by Lisa M. Huffstutler on 09-Aug-2005 | Sign on restaurant window: "Don'tSign on restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry. Come in and get fed up."
Sign in a bowling alley: "Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop."
Sign for a litter of dachshund pups: "Get a `long` little doggie!"
Sign in a cafeteria: "Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. In pencil beneath the sign: Socks can eat anyplace they want."
Sign on a music library's door: "Bach in a minuet."
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| Posted by Too Cool on 09-Aug-2005 | In a New York drugstore:In a New York drugstore: "We dispense with accuracy."
In the offices of a loan company: "Ask about our plans for owning your home."
In a New York medical building: "Mental Health Prevention Center"
On a New York convalescent home: "For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church."
On a Maine shop: "Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and workmanship."
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| Posted by D M. C on 09-Aug-2005 | In an office: WOULD THEIn an office: WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN
Outside a farm: HORSE MANURE PER PRE-PACKED BAG DO-IT-YOURSELF
In an office: AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD
On a church door: THIS IS THE GATE OF HEAVEN. ENTER YE ALL BY THIS DOOR.(THIS DOOR IS KEPT LOCKED BECAUSE OF THE DRAFT. PLEASE USE SIDE DOOR.)
Outside a secondhand shop: WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
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| Posted by david m. stwert on 09-Aug-2005 | In restaurant: "Open seven daysIn restaurant: "Open seven days a week and weekends."
On the freeway in Boston during a MAJOR transformation of the streets and bridges, etc: "Rome wasn't built in a day. If it was we would have hired their contractor."
A sign in front of an advertising agency in south superhighway, Philippines: "A BUSINESS WITH NO SIGN IS A SIGN OF NO BUSINESS"
A sign in front of a Macadamia Nut Factory in Hawaii: "Caution: Nuts crossing road."
On a ski lift in Taos, NM: 'No jumping from the lift. Survivors will be prosecuted.'
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| Posted by Bradley H. Stanley on 09-Aug-2005 | Sign in a Japanese hotel:Sign in a Japanese hotel: "You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid."
Sign in a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: "You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
Sign in a Hong Kong supermarket: "For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service."
Sign at fast-food place: "PARKING FOR DRIVE-THRU CUSTOMERS ONLY!"
Sign outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: "Ladies may have a fit upstairs."
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| Posted by Wedgey Boy on 09-Aug-2005 | Sign in a Swiss mountainSign in a Swiss mountain inn: "Special today -- no ice cream."
Sign in a Copenhagen airline ticket office: "We take your bags and send them in all directions."
Sign on the door of a Moscow hotel room: "If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it."
Sign in a Norwegian cocktail lounge: "Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar."
Sign in the office of a Roman doctor: "Specialist in women and other diseases."
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| Posted by Jennifer R. Sobczak on 09-Aug-2005 | In the vestry of aIn the vestry of a New England church: "Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished."
In a Pennsylvania cemetery: "Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves."
On a roller coaster: "Watch your head."
On the grounds of a public school: "No trespassing without permission."
On a Tennessee highway: "When this sign is under water, this road is impassable."
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| Posted by Joanne Massoud on 09-Aug-2005 | Sign outside a new townSign outside a new town hall which was to be opened by the Prince of Wales: THE TOWN HALL IS CLOSED UNTIL OPENING. IT WILL REMAIN CLOSED AFTER BEING OPENED. OPEN TOMORROW.
Seen at the side of a Sussex road: SLOW CATTLE CROSSING. NO OVERTAKING FOR THE NEXT 100 YRS.
Outside a disco: SMARTS IS THE MOST EXCLUSIVE DISCO IN TOWN. EVERYONE WELCOME
Sign warning of quicksand: QUICKSAND. ANY PERSON PASSING THIS POINT WILL BE DROWNED. BY ORDER OF THE DISTRICT COUNCIL.
Notice sent to residents of a Whiltshire parish: DUE TO INCREASING PROBLEMS WITH LETTER LOUTS AND VANDALS WE MUST ASK ANYONE WITH RELATIVES BURIED IN THE GRAVEYARD TO DO THEIR BEST TO KEEP THEM IN ORDER
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| Posted by Cameron Rivard on 09-Aug-2005 | Sign on a scientist's door:Sign on a scientist's door: "Gone fission."
Sign in a taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."
Sign in a podiatrist's window: "Time wounds all heels."
Sign in a butcher's window: "Let me meat your needs."
Sign on used car lot: "Second hand cars in first crash condition."
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| Posted by meryl m. clewett on 09-Aug-2005 | Here is a great signHere is a great sign I saw in the grocery store: "Snickers, 5 for 1.00$.(limit 4)"
On a dock in Juneau, Alaska: "Safety ladder, climb at own risk."
Seen on an electrical appliance store in Spokane, WA "Go modern! Go gas! Go BOOM!"
Emergency Evacuation Plan posted in various places around my office building: "Run like Anything!"
Biggs Septic Tank Service (near Nashville Tennessee) "Call Monday thru Friday, sorry, we haul milk on weekends."
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| Posted by Stefani R. Richards on 09-Aug-2005 | Sign in a Rhodes tailorSign in a Rhodes tailor shop: "Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation."
Sign from the Soviet Weekly: "There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Aets by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years."
Sign in an East African newspaper: "A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers."
Sign in a Vienna hotel: "In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter."
Sign in an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: "Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists."
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| Posted by Sarah Anne on 09-Aug-2005 | At a number of militaryAt a number of military bases: "Restricted to unauthorized personnel."
On a display of "I love you only" Valentine cards: "Now available in multi-packs."
In the window of a Kentucky appliance store: "Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work."
In a funeral parlor: "Ask about our layaway plan."
In a clothing store: "Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks."
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| Posted by jarmo two on 09-Aug-2005 | Two signs found on topTwo signs found on top of one another in a country kitchen several years ago: Restrooms to the left. Please wait for the hostess to seat you.
Seen in a health food store. "Shoplifters will be beaten over the head with an organic carrot"
"Children left unattended will be towed at parents expense."
I went to a little hole in the wall restaurant: the sign read: Women are not served here. You have to bring your own.
At a Santa Fe gas station: "We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container."
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| Posted by Laura Seeley on 09-Aug-2005 | Sign on a repair shopSign on a repair shop door: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)
Sign at Norfolk farm gate: BEWARE! I SHOOT EVERY TENTH TRESPASSER AND THE NINTH ONE HAS JUST LEFT
Seen during a conference: FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR
Outside a photographer's studio: OUT TO LUNCH: IF NOT BACK BY FIVE,OUT FOR DINNER ALSO
Spotted in a safari park: ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
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| Posted by c?©line rioux on 09-Aug-2005 | Sign on the wall ofSign on the wall of the office of an ethnologist: "Beware of bargains in 1. Parachutes 2. Life preservers 3. Brain surgery 4. Eye Care
Billboard sign on a highway coming out of Austin, TX: "Nobody reads billboards.... But you just did :)"
An ad on the subway in NYC: "Learn to read and speak English. Call us now."
An Amelia Island, FL, podiatrist: "Emergency Foot Surgery- Walk-ins Welcomed."
Sign over a restroom in a restaurant: "Used beer department."
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| Posted by Totally Clueless on 09-Aug-2005 | Sign from a translated sentenceSign from a translated sentence from a Russian chess book: "A lot of water has been passed under the bridge since this variation has been played."
Sign at a garage in Hertfordshire: "Please do not smoke near the pumps. If your life isn't worth anything - gas is!"
Sign on the menu of a Swiss restaurant: "Our wines leave you nothing to hope for."
At a restaurant in New York: "Tip-ing is not a city in China."
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| Posted by brian brams on 09-Aug-2005 | Found written on the wallFound written on the wall in front of a photocopier of a company going through hardships : " DOUBLE YOUR PLEASURE - XEROX YOUR PAYCHECKS "
At a car dealership in Maryland to announce new seat belt legislation: "Belt your family. It's the law."
Seen while traveling in the Yucatan Peninsula: "Broken English spoken perfectly"
At an Applebee's restaraunt: "NOTICE: AFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY! A new 6% tax will be charged for the cost of collecting taxes!"
Fitness Center sign: "Self Esteem is feeling good about yourself - regardless of the facts."
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| Posted by Katie F. on 09-Aug-2005 | Sign on the door ofSign on the door of the maternity ward: "Push Push Push."
Sign at entrance of the IRS: "Watch your step."
Sign at the exit of the IRS: "Watch your mouth."
Sign in a bookstore: "We treat you write."
Sign on a front door: "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog."
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| Posted by Cowardly Lion on 09-Aug-2005 | Sign in a Tokyo Hotel:Sign in a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notice.
Sign seen on an electricity pylon: DANGER! "To touch these wires will result in instant death. Anyone found doing so will be severely prosecuted."
Sign in a Japanese Hotel room: In another Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub.
Sign in a Leipzig elevator: "Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up."
Sign on a Norfolk farm: "Trespassers beware! I shoot every tenth trespasser. The ninth one just left."
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| Posted by Shadow Rat on 09-Aug-2005 | Sign on fence: "Salesmen welcome.Sign on fence: "Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive."
Sign in a car dealership office: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
Sign over a cannibal's hut: "I never met a man I didn't like."
Sign in a muffler shop: "No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming."
Sign at a hotel. "Help! We need inn-experienced people."
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