|
|
 |
|
 |
 |
| Posted by Debby Harwood on 10-Aug-2005 | A fishermanA fisherman returned to shore with a giant Marlin that was larger and heavier
than he was. On the way to the cleaning shed, he ran into a buddy who had maybe
a dozen or so Rockfish. The buddy eyed the Marlin and said, "Only caught the
one, huh?"
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Tom Fell on 10-Aug-2005 | A hunterA hunter was visiting another hunter and was given a tour of his home. In the
den was a stuffed lion. The visiting hunter asked, "When did you bag him?"
The host said, "That was three years ago, when I went hunting with my wife."
"What's he stuffed with?" asked the visiting hunter.
"My wife!"
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Philippe Ballerstedt on 10-Aug-2005 | A hack golferA hack golfer spends a day at a plush country club, playing golf and enjoying
the luxury of a complimentary caddy. Being a hack golfer, he plays poorly all
day. Round about the 18th hole, he spots a lake off to the left of the fairway.
He looks at the caddy and says, "I've played so poorly all day, I think I'm
going to go drown myself in that lake."
The caddy looks back at him and says, "I don't think you could keep your head
down that long."
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Kurht R. Engle on 10-Aug-2005 | Umpires OnlyMy friend Don, a minor-league umpire, is used to being heckled by fans. But
imagine his surprise when he was rushing to umpire an exhibition game at Coors
Field in Denver. After a long search for a place to change clothes, Don finally
located a room with a neatly lettered sign: "Dressing Room, Umpires Only."
As he was about to go in, however, he inspected the sign more closely. Below
the printed legend was the same message ... written in Braille.
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by lafonda on 10-Aug-2005 | I got here in TWOGeorge looks like golf pro in his designer outfit but he slices his first
drive deep into the woods. Rather than accept a penalty, he decides to try using
an iron to get back on the fairway. His ball ricochets off a tree and strikes
him on the forehead, killing him.
When he arrives at the Pearly Gates, St. Peter greets him. "You look like a
golfer. Are you any good?"
George replies, "Absolutely.... I got here in TWO, didn't I?"
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by David Baughman on 10-Aug-2005 | SKI SEASON TIPSSki season is here. The following is a list of exercises to help you prepare:
- Soak your gloves and store them in the freezer after every use.
- Fasten a small, wide rubber band around the top half of your head before you
go to bed each night.
- If you wear glasses, begin wearing them with glue smeared on the lenses.
- Throw away a hundred dollar bill - now.
- Find the nearest ice rink and walk across the ice 20 times in your ski boots
carrying two pairs of skis, accessory bag and poles. Pretend you are looking for
your car. Sporadically drop things.
- Place a small but angular pebble in your shoes, line them with crushed ice
and then tighten a C-clamp around your toes.
- Buy a new pair of gloves and immediately throw one away.
- Secure one of your ankles to a bed post and ask a friend to run into you at
high speed.
- Go to McDonald's and insist on paying $8.50 for a hamburger. Be sure you are
in the longest line.
- Clip a lift ticket to the zipper of your jacket and ride a motorcycle fast
enough to make the ticket lacerate your face.
- Drive slowly for five hours - anywhere - as long as it's in a snowstorm and
you're following an 18 wheeler.
- Fill a blender with ice, hit the pulse button and let the spray blast your
face. Leave the ice on your face until it melts. Let it drip into your clothes.
- Dress up in as many clothes as you can and then proceed to take them off
because you have to go to the bathroom.
- Slam your thumb in a car door. Don't go see a doctor.
- Repeat all of the above every Saturday and Sunday until it's time for the
real thing.
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
