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| Posted by matt D on 10-Aug-2005 | A grandson's coffeeA Grandmother was surprised by her 7 year old grandson one morning when he had
made her coffee.
She drank what was the worst cup of coffee in her life. When she got to the
bottom there were three of those little green army men in the cup. She said,
"Honey, what are the army men doing in my coffee?"
Her grandson said, "Grandma, it says on TV-'The best part of waking up is
soldiers in your cup!'"
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| Posted by andrea swain on 10-Aug-2005 | ArithmeticA teacher was having trouble teaching arithmetic to one little boy. So she
said, "if you reached in your right pocket and found a nickel, and you reached
in your left pocket and found another one, what would you have?" "Somebody
else's pants."
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| Posted by david a. zeimer on 10-Aug-2005 | Always say a prayerOne evening, a little boy and his family were having supper at his grandma's
house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served.
When he received his plate, the little guy began eating right away.
"Wait until we a say a prayer," his mother admonished.
" I don't have to," he replied.
"Of course you do," his mother insisted. "We always say a prayer before eating
at home."
"That's at home," he explained. "This is Grandma's house and she knows how to
cook!!"
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| Posted by Jared Simons on 10-Aug-2005 | Messages to GodThe following are messages written by children to God,
Dear GOD, Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an
accident? -Norma
Dear GOD, Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't
You just keep the ones You have now? -Jane
Dear GOD, Who draws the lines around the countries? -Nan
Dear GOD, I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that
okay? -Neil
Dear GOD, What does it mean You are a Jealous God? I thought You had
everything. -Jane
Dear God, Did you really mean "do unto others as they do unto you"? Because if
you did, then I'm going to fix my brother!
-Darla
Dear GOD, Thank you for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy.
-Joyce
Dear GOD, It rained for our whole vacation and is my father mad! He said some
things about You that people are not supposed to say, but I hope You will not
hurt him anyway. Your friend. (But I am not going to tell you who I am)
Dear GOD, Why is Sunday school on Sunday? I thought it was supposed to be our
day of rest. -Tom L.
Dear GOD, Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before, You can
look it up. -Bruce
Dear GOD, My brother is a rat. You should give him a tail. Ha ha. -Danny
Dear GOD, Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had
their own rooms. It works with my brother. -Larry
Dear GOD, I want to be just like my Daddy when I get big, but not with so much
hair all over. -Sam
Dear GOD, I think the stapler is one of your goodest inventions.
-Ruth M.
Dear GOD, I bet it is very hard for You to love all of everybody in the whole
world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it. -Nan
Dear GOD, If You watch me in church Sunday, I'll show You my new shoes.
-Mickey D.
Dear GOD, I would like to live 900 years like the guy in the Bible. Love,
Chris
Dear GOD, We read Thomas Edison made light. But in school they said You did
it. So I bet he stoled your idea. Sincerely, Donna
-Unknown email sent me it
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| Posted by Choclette Sauce on 10-Aug-2005 | In a MinuteA kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were
drawing. She walked around to look at the artwork.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the
drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like.
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing the girl replied, "They
will in a minute."
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| Posted by Lucille's Balls on 10-Aug-2005 | Alphabet For HomeworkOne day when jimmy was at school, the teacher told him that for his homework
he had to write out the first three letters of the alphabet.
when he went home he was struggling so decided to ask his mum. his mum was in
the kitchen cutting the salad when he asked her "mum, what is the first letter
of the alphabet?"
just as he had finished asking this question his mum sliced her finger open
and shouted "s***!!!"
jimmy wrote this down and went outside to see his older brother.
he asked him "big brother, whet is the second letter of the alphabet?"
his brother was crouched on the floor talking to a drugged up teenager and
jimmy heard him say "only if you give me some heroin!"
jimmy wrote this down and went into the living room and saw his little sister
watching superman.
"sister, what is the third letter of the alphabet?"
his sisters eyes were fixed on the the tv and she ignored jimmy. "superman!!!"
she shouted out in excitment.
the next day when jimmy went into school the teacher asked him if he had done
his homework.
jimmy then shouted out "s***!!!" (the first letter of the alphabet.)
his teacher was very angry and shouted "right young man, you're going to the
head teacher!"
and jimmy replied by saying "only if you give me some heroin!" the teacher's
face went red with anger and dragged jimmy to the head teacher's office by his
ear. when jimmy and the teacher were in the head teacher's office the
headteacher asked, "who do you think you, are young man?"
so jimmy shouted "superman!!!!!"
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