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():other funny jokes (4827): A highway patrolman pulls over this motorist...


Posted by Abby Proffer on 07-Aug-2005

A highway patrolman pulls over this motorist...

A highway patrolman pulls over this motorist who'd been weaving erratically in and out of all three freeway lanes for several miles. He approaches the motorist's window carefully, holds out a plastic tube and says, "Sir, I'll need you to blow into this breathalyzer."

"I'm sorry, officer, I can't do that", replies the guy, "I'm an asthmatic, and if I do that I could have a bad asthma attack."

"Yes, sir. Then I'm going to have to ask you to come down to the station with me to give us a blood sample."

"Uh, I can't do that either, officer. I suffer from a life-threatening form of hemophilia, and if my skin is punctured in any way, especially by a sharp needle, I could easily bleed to death."

"No problem, sir, then we'll just take a urine sample."

"I'm awful sorry, officer, I also have a diabetes, and if I pee this late at night, I'll get low blood sugar, possibly even go into cardiac arrest."

"Yes, sir. Then I'll need you to step out of your vehicle and walk a straight line for me right here and now."

"Uh... I can't do that either, officer."

"And why is that, Sir?"

"Why? Because I'm drunk, you moron!"


   

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():other funny jokes (4827): Drive defensively-...


Posted by Brandon M. Reisdorf on 07-Aug-2005

Drive defensively-...

Drive defensively-
Buy a tank.
   

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():other funny jokes (4827): A father welcomed his daughter's boyfriend...


Posted by Jenny on 07-Aug-2005

A father welcomed his daughter's boyfriend...

A father welcomed his daughter's boyfriend at the door and invited him in. "She'll be right down." he said. "Care for a game of chess?"
   

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():other funny jokes (4827): The specialist knows more and more, about...


Posted by Secret_Fool on 07-Aug-2005

The specialist knows more and more, about...

The specialist knows more and more, about less and less, until he knows everything about nothing, while the generalist learns less and less about more and more until he knows nothing about everything.
   

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():other funny jokes (4827): He who inherits riches shall never know the...


Posted by William C. Herbert on 07-Aug-2005
He who inherits riches shall never know the...
He who inherits riches shall never know the joy of toiling endlessly for his daily bread.
   

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():other funny jokes (4827): A little ambiguity never hurt anyone....


Posted by Kyle Lusis on 07-Aug-2005
A little ambiguity never hurt anyone....
A little ambiguity never hurt anyone.
   

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