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| Posted by jaimie on 09-Aug-2005 | EMS AcronymsTo: All EMS Personnel From: Chief of Operations Subject: Proper Narrative Descriptions
It has come to our attention from several emergency rooms that many EMS narratives have taken a decidedly creative direction lately. Effective immediately, all members are to refrain from using slang and abbreviations to describe patients, such as the following:
1) Cardiac patients should not be referred to as suffering from MUH (messed up heart), PBS (pretty bad shape), PCL (pre-code looking) or HIBGIA (had it before, got it again).
2) Stroke patients are NOT "Charlie Carrots."
Nor are rescuers to use CCFCCP(Coo Coo for Cocoa Puffs) to describe their mental state.
3) Trauma patients are not CATS (cut all to sh*t), FDGB (fall down, go boom), TBC (total body crunch) or "hamburger helper."
Similarly, descriptions of a car crash do not have to include phrases like "negative vehicle to vehicle interface" or "terminal deceleration syndrome."
4) HAZMAT teams are highly trained professionals, not "glow worms."
5) Persons with altered mental states as a result of drug use are not considered "pharmaceutically gifted."
6) Gunshot wounds to the head are not trans-occipital implants."
7) The homeless are not "urban outdoors men," nor is endotracheal intubation referred to as a "PVC Challenge."
8) And finally, do not refer to recently deceased persons as being "paws up," ART (assuming room temperature), CC (Cancel Christmas), CTD (circling the drain), DRT (dead right there).
I know you will all join me in respecting the cultural diversity of our patients to include their medical orientations in creating proper narratives and log entries.
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| Posted by The Funny Jokester Guy on 09-Aug-2005 | Understanding MenMen, summed up:
The nice men are ugly.
The handsome men are not nice.
The handsome and nice men are gay.
The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.
The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.
The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.
The handsome men without money are after our money.
The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.
The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.
The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!
The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.
NOW ... WHO IN THE HELL UNDERSTANDS MEN?
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| Posted by Tanya N. Boyce on 13-Aug-2005 | First the Dodo died. Then Dodi died. After...First the Dodo died. Then Dodi died. After that Di died followed by Dando. I bet Dido is crapping herself.
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| Posted by janet on 14-Aug-2005 | Mind your own business!Knock-knock
Who's There?
Scot
Scot who?
Scot nothing to do with you!
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| Posted by Yvette C on 09-Aug-2005 | Exam worriesA young student reports for a final examination that consists of only true/false - type statements.
The student takes a seat in the hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet.
Heads means true, tails means false.
The young student is all done in 20 minutes while the rest of the class is sweating it out.
But, suddenly during the last few minutes, the young student is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating.
The teacher, alarmed, approaches the student and asks what is going on.
'Well I finished the exam in half an hour,' says the student, 'but I thought I ought to recheck my answers.'
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