Funny quotes

Funny quotes
http://www.jokesnquotes.com/ - Funny quotes
  Categories

funny quotes

animal jokes

bar jokes

holiday jokes

travel & vacation jokes

sport jokes

other funny jokes

signs of our times

nerd jokes

just do it

funny laws

funny definitions

blind jokes

funny bumper stickers

crazy jokes

food jokes

funny ads

little johnny

school humor

top list jokes

funny thoughts



Navigation:

· jokes and quotes
· Add joke
· New jokes
· Last 5 jokes
· Best jokes
· Search jokes
  Service menu

· Freedback
· Recommend Us
· Subscription
  Our friends

There isn't content right now for this block.
():nerd jokes (650): Access Denied


Posted by Lady Joker1975 on 13-Aug-2005

Access Denied

A guy did system support in a law firm. One day, he had to log a user off and then back on. He entered her initials and then she gave me her password.

Her password was "genius".

After three tries and the system telling him "access denied," he asked her how to spell it.

She said, "G - E - N - I - O - U - S."


   

0 people have rated this joke:
0.00/10
     

():nerd jokes (650): Dumb Criminal at the Photo Mart


Posted by allie on 13-Aug-2005

Dumb Criminal at the Photo Mart

Roland Tough, 22, dropped off a roll of film to be developed at a Tesco supermarket in England. When employees looked at the resulting prints, they recognized the men in the photos as the thieves who had robbed the store two weeks before, now posing with their loot from the robbery. Police arrested Tough when he came back to pick up his pictures.

He said he had taken the photos to "show friends in prison how well he was doing."


   

0 people have rated this joke:
0.00/10
     

():nerd jokes (650): Q:How do you know a blond has been in your...


Posted by Samantha Prahl on 13-Aug-2005

Q:How do you know a blond has been in your...

Q:How do you know a blond has been in your car?

A:The shift stick is all wet!


   

0 people have rated this joke:
0.00/10
     

():nerd jokes (650): Idiot Detective Agency


Posted by LUSHLEY on 13-Aug-2005

Idiot Detective Agency

Three idiots try out for a job to be a detective. The trainer they have pulls out a picture. He asks them each separately, "How would you recognize this suspect?"

The 1st idiot says "He only has 1 eye"

So the trainer says "it's a profile."

Frustrated, he moves along to the 2nd one and he said, "how would you recognize this suspect?"

The idiot says "he only has one ear."

Even more frustrated he yells at her and says "its a profile!"

He goes to the 3rd idiot and once again he asks, "How would you recognize this suspect?"

The idiot answers "he wears contact lenses."

The amazed trainer goes and checks the computer database. He returns 5 minutes later and says, "wow! he does where contact lenses, how did you know that?"

The idiot replies, "he can't wear normal glasses silly, he only has one ear"


   

0 people have rated this joke:
0.00/10
     

():nerd jokes (650): Work hazard


Posted by Edward Peck on 13-Aug-2005
Work hazard
A young peasant girl of fourteen went to work in a broom factory. After 2 months she gave the boss a two-week notice. The boss was quite unhappy to let her go since she was hard working, knew her tasks etc. He called her into his office, "But why?" he asked.

"Nothin, I just wanna quit that's all," she said sullenly.

"Look, I'll give you a raise."

"No," she said.

"You can't just quit like that. There must be a reason. Tell me."

"Okay if you must know..." said the girl, and she took off her underwear and pointed to her pubic hair, "Look I haven't had this before, it's the broom's bristles, I tell you..."

Tickled by her innocence, he too took off his underwear and showed his, and said, "Ha ha...my dear it's nature. Look I have it too...."

"Oh no!" the girl cried, "I can't wait two weeks, I quit now! Not only do you have the bristles, but you've grown the handle as well."


   

0 people have rated this joke:
0.00/10
     

():nerd jokes (650): Dear Son...


Posted by Tiffany on 13-Aug-2005
Dear Son...
Dear Son

I am writing this slow cause I know you can't read fast.

We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happened within 20 miles of home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address cause the last family that lived here took the numbers with then to there next house so they wont have to change there address, I wish the I have thought of that.

This place has a small washing machine. the first day I put four shirts in it, pulled the chain and haven't seen them since.

It only rained twice this week- three days the first time and four days the second.

The coat you wanted me to send you; your aunt sue said it was too heavy to send it by mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. Don't tell anyone.

We got a bill from the funeral home, said if we didn't make the last payment on Grandma's funeral bill; up she comes. Luck we have a spare bedroom in the new place. We can move her when you come to visit.

About your father- he has a lovely new job. He has over 500 people under him; he is cutting grass at the cemetery.

Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out if it was a boy or a girl, so I don't know if you are a aunt or an uncle.

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. One was driving two was in the back bed. The driver got out- he rolled down the window and swam to safety. The other two drowned; they couldn't get the tailgate down.

Your uncle Mike fell in the whiskey vat at work. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off and drowned. He wanted to be cremated, burned for three days.


   

0 people have rated this joke:
0.00/10
     

Jokes search
Input keyword:
Adversting