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| Posted by bob bob on 09-Aug-2005 | ADVICE FOR IDIOTS
AnADVICE FOR IDIOTS
An actual tip from page 16 of the Hewlett Packard Environmental, Health & Safety Handbook for Employees: "Blink your eyelids periodically to lubricate your eyes."
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| Posted by Don S. Peterson on 09-Aug-2005 | The incredibly dumb
AT&TThe incredibly dumb
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership". He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.
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| Posted by Jamaahl Boxx on 10-Aug-2005 | Punchlines With Absolutely No Context???No, no, no!??? said the penguin, ???I suffer from Seasonal
Affective Disorder!???
???Surprise! Surprise! That??™s not my ear canal either!???
Oh no! The leak is coming from the Global Positioning
Satellite System again!
???Mommy Mommy,??? Little Johnny replied, ???is that why the
souffl?© is burnt????
???Tokyo???? Said the nun, ???You fool, I said take the hoe!???
And then my dad farted and it smelled and I said to my
father you farted and it smelled.
And slowly, the sheep turned to each other and glared
silently.
???Whew!??? said the blonde, ???I thought you meant the vacuum-
insulated sealable container with the heat reflective inner
surface!???
???No wait, you don??™t understand,??? said the fat man, ???Pop
Tarts are a substitute for my mother??™s love!???
As they opened the door they realized they were terribly
mistaken. The dog was only taking a nap.
???Yeah,??? said the Scottsman, ???but at least I don??™t have a
scented hand soap named after ME!???
As she spoke he whirled the egg beater around and
yelled ???EGG BEATER!???
???Isotope???? He replied, ???That??™s no isotope!???
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| Posted by joke on 10-Aug-2005 | Bottle openerHow many men does it take to open a beer?
None, it should be opened by the time she brings it to
you!
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| Posted by Kristen Hi on 10-Aug-2005 | Fish MarketOne day there was a blind man walking down the street and
he smelled oranges, so he bought some fruit.
He smelled some pastries, so he bought some donuts.
Then he walked passed a fish market, took a hard sniff, and
said, "Hello ladies!"
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| Posted by Rebecca E. Borden on 10-Aug-2005 | Picture perfectA husband said to his wife, "I will take a photo of your
breasts and frame it ." The wife said to her husband, "I will take a photo of
your penis and enlarge it."
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