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After I stopped by this company's booth at...

After I stopped by this company's booth at the recent CD-ROM conference, the following letter arrived here from a major CPU manufacturer...

Dear Mr. Rubinsky: Thank you for your [company name] literature order. We are very sorry, but the following items that you have requested are currently on backorder:
        PRODUCT CODE    DESCRIPTION                             EXPECTED ARRIVAL DATE
        T217            Dear Customer Cover Letter              FOUR WEEKS
Your order will be filled at the earliest possible date. In the meantime, your patience in regard to this matter is greatly appreciated.
Please feel free to call our Literature Distribution Center at [800-number]. Our operators will be happy to help you place an order for any additional literature, or refer you to your nearest [company name] sales office to help you with any technical questions regarding our products. If you call to check the status of your order, please reference your order #[number].
Again, thank you for your order, and we hope to be of service to you in the future.
Sincerely,
[empty space here]
[company name] Literature Distribution Center

Curiously, one week earlier I received the literature I had requested -- without a cover letter.

1 people have rated this joke:

10.0/10


	():nerd jokes (650): Window washers

Posted by Smart Fool on 12-Aug-2005

Window washers

There were 3 male windowwashers. One Mexican one American and one Polish. At lunch break one day the Mexican opened his lunch and got a burrito. He said,\"man if i get another burrito im gonna jump.\" The American said,\"if i get another bologna sandwich im gonna jump.\" The Polish guy said,\"if i get another sausage im gonna jump. The next day they all commited suicide. At their funerals the Mexican wife said,\" If only I would have known he didnt want another burrito i would have packed him something else.\" The Polish wife said,\" I would have packed my hubbie something else if i wouldve known.\" Then they turned and looked at the American wife. She said, \"what are u looking at me for, he packs his own lunches.\"

1 people have rated this joke:

9.00/10


	():nerd jokes (650): Top 12 things likely to be overheard if you...

Posted by barbara coleman on 07-Aug-2005

Top 12 things likely to be overheard if you...

Top 12 things likely to be overheard if you had a Klingon Programmer

"Specifications are for the weak and timid!"
"This machine is a piece of gagh! I need dual Pentium processors if I am to do battle with this code!"
"You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you've read it in the original Klingon."
"Indentation?! - I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull!"
"What is this talk of 'release'? Klingons do not make software 'releases'. Our software 'escapes' leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake."
"Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' - they have 'arguments' - and they always win them."
"Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak."
"I have challenged the entire quality assurance team to a Bat-Leth contest. They will not concern us again."
"A true Klingon Warrior does not comment his code!"
"By filing this bug report you have challenged the honor of my family... Prepare to die!"
"You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you stand!"
"Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it! Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!"

4 people have rated this joke:

8.50/10


	():nerd jokes (650): There is no difference between theory and...

Posted by dawn whispers on 07-Aug-2005

There is no difference between theory and...

There is no difference between theory and practice in theory, but there is often a great deal of difference between theory and practice in practice.

1 people have rated this joke:

8.00/10


	():nerd jokes (650): Ear this

Posted by Kitty Devil on 13-Aug-2005

Ear this

There was this man who was in a horrible accident, and was injured. But the only permanent damage he suffered was the amputation of both of his ears. As a result of this 'unusual' handicap, he was very self-conscious about his having no ears. Because of the accident, he received a large sum of money from the insurance company. It was always his dream to own his own business, so he decided with all this money he had, he now had the means to own a business.

So he went out and purchased a small, but expanding computer firm. But, he realized that he had no business knowledge at all, so he decided that he would have to hire someone to run the business. He picked out three top candidates, and interviewed each of them.

The first interview went really well. He really liked this guy. His last question for this first candidate was 'Do you notice anything unusual about me?' The guy said, 'Now that you mention it, you have no ears.' The man got really upset and threw the guy out.

The second interview went even better than the first. This candidate was much better than the first. Again, to conclude the interview, the man asked the same question again, 'Do you notice anything unusual about me?' This guy also noticed, 'Yes, you have no ears.' The man was really upset again, and threw this second candidate out.

Then he had the third interview. The third candidate was even better than the second, the best out of all of them. Almost certain that he wanted to hire this guy, the man once again asked, 'Do you notice anything unusual about me?'

The guy replied 'Yeah, you're wearing contact lenses.' Surprised, the man then asked, 'Wow! That's quite perceptive of you! How could you tell?'

The guy burst out laughing and said, 'Well, You can't wear glasses if you don't have any fucking ears!'

5 people have rated this joke:

7.60/10