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| Posted by Jo Mima on 09-Aug-2005 | After the DivorceSome time after their bitter divorce, a man happened to pull up alongside his ex-wife at a traffic signal. He shouted over, "So... out looking for a little, huh ?"
She smiled sweetly and said, "No, I had 6 years of that with you. Now, I'm out looking for a LOT!"
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| Posted by kisa kisa on 09-Aug-2005 | Hang Up Your ClothesA woman walked into the doctor's but didn't like the way he was looking at her. When he told her to undress she asked him to turn out the lights before she disrobed. After he turned out the lights she said:
"Where will I put my clothes?"
"Hang them up over here," he replied, "next to mine."
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| Posted by p.l. on 09-Aug-2005 | Washing the little PA young nurse was giving an old army man a bath and told him he would have to wash his own privates.
"Privates?!" he shouted.
"At my age they should be at least Generals by now."
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| Posted by Anuradha K. Dissanayake on 09-Aug-2005 | Making Condoms!A dentist was getting ready to clean an elderly lady's teeth.
He noticed that she was a little nervous, so he began to tell her a story as he was putting on his surgical gloves...
"Do you know how they make these rubber gloves?"
She said, "No?"
"Well", he spoofed, "down in Mexico they have this big building set up with a large tank of latex, and the workers are all picked according to hand size. Each individual walks up to the tank, dips their hands in, and then walk around for a bit while the latex sets up and dries right onto their hands! Then they peel off the gloves and throw them into the big 'Finished Goods Crate' and start the process all over again."
And she didn't laugh a bit!!! Five minutes later, during the procedure, he had to stop cleaning her teeth because she burst out laughing.
The old woman blushed and exclaimed, "I just suddenly thought about how they must make condoms.
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| Posted by ashley m. corrado on 09-Aug-2005 | Divorce SettlementMr. Smith, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce court judge said, "and I've decided to give your wife $275 a week."
"That's very fair, your honour," the husband said.
"And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself."
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| Posted by herpez a. bigk on 09-Aug-2005 | Join the Force.A young man was taking a verbal test to join the local police force.
The question asked, "If you were driving a police car, alone on a lonely road at night, and were being chased by a gang of criminals driving sixty miles an hour, what would you do?"
The young man answered without a second's thought: "Seventy!"
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