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():nerd jokes (650): Anal Deodorant


Posted by Wai-San Kwan on 13-Aug-2005

Anal Deodorant

True story: A customer walks into a pharmacy and asks assistant for an anal deodorant. The assistant explains that they don't stock them. The man insists that he bought his last one from this store.

The assistant passes man on to the pharmacist, who explains that store has never stocked such an item. The man explains he bought his last one from this store only weeks ago and has done for several years. The pharmacist asks man to bring in his last purchase and he will try to match the product.

The following day, the man returns to the pharmacy and shows the deodorant to the pharmacist. The pharmacist asks why the customer thinks this is an anal deodorant, when it is obviously of the underarm stick variety. The customer explains that instructions on reverse state, 'Push up bottom to use.'


   

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():nerd jokes (650): Lost while hunting


Posted by Lady Love on 13-Aug-2005

Lost while hunting

Two men from Canada were out hunting. They decided to separate to get a better chance of catching something. The first man says to the other, 'If you get lost, fire three shots into the air every hour. That way I can pinpoint you and find you.' After about three hours, the second man finds he is really lost. He decides to fire three shots into the air as the first man told him. He then waits an hour and does it again. He repeats this until he is out of ammo. The next morning, the first man finds the second with the help of forest rangers. He asks the first man if he did what he told him to do. The man answers, 'Yes, I fired three shots into the air every hour on the hour until I ran out of arrows.'


   

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():nerd jokes (650): Very Hairy


Posted by Roy Covington on 13-Aug-2005

Very Hairy

A very hairy man sat next to this bald man, the bald man asked for a donation and the hairy man said: I am very hairy....
   

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():nerd jokes (650): Joke star


Posted by Tom D. Chambers on 13-Aug-2005

Joke star


   

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():nerd jokes (650): Monkeys


Posted by Jaiva on 13-Aug-2005
Monkeys
There are two monkeys in a bath one goes oooooooooohhhhhaaaaaa! The other one says put somebloody cold water in the bloody bath stupid monkey!!!
   

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():nerd jokes (650): Loco danger


Posted by the face L. P on 13-Aug-2005
Loco danger
This fellow who had spent his whole life in the desert comes to visit a friend. He'd never seen a train or the tracks they run on.

While standing in the middle of the RR tracks one day, he hears this whistle -- Whooee da Whoee! -- but doesn't know what it is.

Predictably, he's hit -- but, only a glancing blow -- and is thrown, ass-over-tea-kettle, to the side of the tracks, with some minor internal injuries, a few broken bones, and some bruises.

After weeks in the hospital recovering, he's at his friend's house attending a party, one evening. While in the kitchen, he suddenly hears the tea kettle whistling. He grabs a baseball bat from the nearby closet and proceeds to batter and bash the tea kettle into an unrecognizable lump of metal. His friend, hearing the ruckus, rushes into the kitchen, sees what's happened and asks the desert man: 'Why'd you ruin my good tea kettle?'

The desert man replies: 'Man, you gotta kill these things when they're small.'


   

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