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():funny quotes (263): "And God said: 'Let there be Satan, so people... |
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| Posted by i-HaVe PmS on 07-Aug-2005 | "And God said: 'Let there be Satan, so people..."And God said: 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me.
And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'"
- George Burns
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| Posted by Thalia G. Grace on 14-Aug-2005 | Ineffective Daily AffirmationsAs I let go of my feelings of guilt, I can get in touch with my Inner
Sociopath.
I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of
suspicion and paranoia.
I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are
someone else's fault.
I no longer need to punish, deceive or compromise myself. Unless, of
course, I want to stay employed.
In some cultures what I do would be considered normal.
Having control over myself is nearly as good as having control over others.
My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of good judgment.
I honor my personality flaws, for without them I would have no personality
at all.
Joan of Arc heard voices too.
I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious,
self-righteous people around me.
I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper and complain.
As I learn the innermost secrets of the people around me, they reward me
in many ways to keep me quiet.
When someone hurts me, forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit. But not
nearly as gratifying.
The first step is to say nice things about myself. The second, to do nice
things for myself. The third, to find someone to buy me nice things.
As I learn to trust the universe, I no longer need to carry a gun.
All of me is beautiful and valuable, even the ugly, stupid, and disgusting
parts.
I am at one with my duality.
Blessed are the flexible, for they can tie themselves into knots.
I will strive to live each day as if it were my 40th birthday.
Only a lack of imagination saves me from immobilizing myself with
imaginary fears.
I honor and express all facets of my being, regardless of state and local
laws.
Today I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no
sweeter words than "I told you so."
False hope is nicer than no hope at all.
A good scapegoat is nearly as welcome as a solution to the problem.
Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day watching TV.
Instead I will move my TV into the bedroom.
Who can I blame for my own problems? Give me just a minute... I'll find
someone.
Why should I waste my time reliving the past when I can spend it worrying
about the future?
The complete lack of evidence is the surest sign that the conspiracy is
working.
I am learning that criticism is not nearly as effective as sabotage.
Becoming aware of my character defects leads me to the next step --
blaming my parents.
To have a successful relationship I must learn to make it look like I'm
giving as much as I'm getting.
I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from
them.
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| Posted by Acer on 14-Aug-2005 | Food PoisoningI got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it.
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| Posted by sam bobi on 14-Aug-2005 | Best Things Ever Said~Sex is the most fun you can have without smiling.
~Sex is nobody's business except for the three people involved.
~Your chances of getting hit by lighting go up if you stand under a tree,
shake your fist at the sky, and say, "Storms suck!"
~If homosexuality were normal God would have created Adam and Bruce.
~Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
~France is a country where the money falls apart and you can't tear the
toilet paper.
~Defeat is worse than death because you have to live with defeat.
~Groundhog Day has been observed only once in Los Angeles because when the
groundhog came out of its hole, it was killed by a mud slide.
~I hate people who keep dogs. They are the cowards that are afraid to bite
people themselves.
~Early to rise and early to bed makes a man healthy, wealthy and dead.
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():funny quotes (263): "When women are depressed, they either eat or go shopping. Men invade
another country. It's a whole |
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| Posted by Lorelea on 09-Aug-2005 | "When women are depressed, they either eat or go shopping. Men invade
another country. It's a wholeElaine Boosler
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| Posted by Elana on 14-Aug-2005 | Amendment 6In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a
speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the state and district
wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have
been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and
cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against
him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor,
and to have the assistance of counsel for his defense.
- The Constitution of the United States of America Amendment 6, 1791
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