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():travel & vacation jokes (283): Angle of arrival


Posted by nate f. gayfag on 09-Aug-2005

Angle of arrival

The probability of survival is equal to the angle of arrival.
   

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():travel & vacation jokes (283): Great landing


Posted by The Metroid on 09-Aug-2005

Great landing

Everyone knows a 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away.

But a 'great' landing is one after which you can use the airplane again.
   

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():travel & vacation jokes (283): Beckham


Posted by Xandi on 09-Aug-2005

Beckham

David Beckham decides to go horse riding. Although he has had no previous experience he skilfully mounts the horse and appears to be in complete command of the situation as the horse gallops along at a steady pace.

Victoria admiringly watching her husband.

After a short time David becomes a little casual and he begins to lose his grip in the saddle, he panics and grabs the horse around the neck shouting for it to stop.

Victoria starts to scream and shout for someone to help her husband as David has by this time slipped completely out of the saddle and is only saved from hitting the ground by the fact that he still has a grip on the horses neck.

David decides that his best chance is to leap away from the horse, but his foot has become entangled in one of the stirrups.

As the horse gallops along David's head is banging on the ground and he is slipping into unconsciousness.

Victoria is now frantic and screams and screams for help!

Hearing her screams, the Tesco Security Guard comes out of the store and unplugs the horse.

Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Yisman
   

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():travel & vacation jokes (283): Price of gas


Posted by Christopher L. Eloy on 09-Aug-2005

Price of gas

I'm not sure if my local gas station owner is being a good business person or just trying to maximize his exploiting of the price of gasoline. His full service line now includes a drive up window to a loan officer.
   

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():travel & vacation jokes (283): Out of gas


Posted by greenmachine on 09-Aug-2005
Out of gas
A guy in Paris nearly got away with several paintings from The Louvre.

However, after planning the crime, getting in and out past security, he was captured only 2 blocks away when his Econoline van ran out of gas.

When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied, "I has no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."

Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Tantilazing
   

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():travel & vacation jokes (283): Birth control pill


Posted by michelle on 09-Aug-2005
Birth control pill
A truck driver was pulled over by a state trooper.

The patrolman told him to get out of the truck, and noticed that the driver appeared to be putting something in his mouth as he stepped out of the cab.

Figuring that the driver was putting away his pep pills, the patrolman asked, "Did I just see you swallow something?"

"Yep, that was my birth control pill," said the driver.

"Birth control pill?" asked the patrolman.

"Yep, when I saw your light, I knew I was fucked."

Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Yisman
   

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