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| Posted by Heaven on 14-Aug-2005 | animal crackersA mother and her young son returned from the grocery store
and began putting away the groceries. The boy opened the
box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table.
"What are you doing?" his mother asked.
"The box says you can't eat them if the seal is broken,"
the boy explained. "I'm looking for the seal."
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| Posted by Moosen on 09-Aug-2005 | Men and ETWhat's the difference between a man and ET? ET phoned home.
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| Posted by Tom Nanney on 09-Aug-2005 | HeadstonesHusband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary.
The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads 'Here Lies My Wife- Cold As Ever'."
"Yeah" she replies, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Husband-Stiff At Last.'"
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| Posted by Bob Nelson on 09-Aug-2005 | DogsWhat do you get when you mate a Bulldog and a Shuh-tzu? Bullshit
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| Posted by Jeremy W. Thompson on 09-Aug-2005 | SeasicknessThe ship's steward stopped at the rail of the ship during a particularly rough ocean crossing and gazed compassionately at the man who's slumped position over the rail and whose intensity of gaze towards the depths betokened all too well the ravages of seasickness.
Gently, the steward patted the man's shoulder.
"Cheer up, sir," he murmured.
"I know it seems bad, but really, you know, nobody ever dies of seasickness."
The afflicted gentleman lifted his greenish, tortured face to his comforter and gasped in hoarse accents.
"Don't say that, man. For heaven's sake, don't say that. It's only the hope of dying that's keeping me alive."
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