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| Posted by Christopher E. Draughn on 09-Aug-2005 | Animal GameOne day the teacher decides to play an animal game. She holds up a picture of a giraffe and asks if anyone knows what it is. No one raises their hand.
The teacher says "See it's long neck? What animal has a long neck?"
Sally holds up her hand and asks if it is a giraffe.
"Very good Sally," the teacher replies.
Next she holds up a picture of a zebra. None of the students holds up their hands.
"See the stripes on this animal? What animal has stripes?"
Billy holds up his hand and says it is a zebra.
"Very good Billy," the teacher replies. Next she holds up a picture of a deer. None of the students holds up their hand.
"See the big antlers on this animal. What animal has horns like this?"
Still no one guesses.
"Let me give you another hint, it's something your mother calls your father."
Johnny shouts out "I know what it is, it's a horny bastard."
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| Posted by Evan Lemoine on 09-Aug-2005 | The SumA little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven.
Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine...."
His mother heard what he was saying and asked, "What are you doing?"
The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom."
"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.
"Yes," he answered.
Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?"
The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."
The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?"
After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."
Submitted by Curtis
Editted by Calamjo
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| Posted by Sean h. Curry on 09-Aug-2005 | TroubleAn eight year old kid swaggered into the lounge and demanded of the barmaid, "Give me a double Scotch on the rocks."
"What do you want to do, get me in trouble?" the barmaid asked.
"Maybe later," the kid said. "Right now, I just want the Scotch."
Submitted by curtis
Edited by calamjo,Tantilazing and yisman
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| Posted by Oldmanshiver on 09-Aug-2005 | PoohQ: What did Winnie the Pooh say to his agent?
A: "Show me the honey!"
Submitted by curtis
Edited by calamjo, Tantilazing and yisman
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| Posted by Mr_DrummerBoy2005 on 09-Aug-2005 | CoincidenceTeacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time."
Submitted by curtis
Edited by calamjo, Tantilazing and yisman
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| Posted by Tr Howes on 09-Aug-2005 | Mum's age"That's an excellent essay for someone your age," said the English teacher.
"How about for someone my mum's age, Miss?"
Submitted by calamjo
Edited by yisman, curtis and Tantilazing
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