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| Posted by chicken E. taste on 13-Aug-2005 | Endangered SpeciesOne beautiful autumn day, a Park Ranger discovered a man sitting in the woods chewing away on a dead Bald Eagle.
'Hey mister, the Bald Eagle is a protected species, and killing one is punishable offence', said the Park Ranger.
The man was swiftly arrested, and ushered before the judge.
In court, he pleaded innocent to the charges against him, claiming that if he didn't eat the bald eagle he would have died from starvation.
'I was so hungry' complained the defensive camper, 'the Bald Eagle was the only food I could find!'
To everyone's amazement, the judge ruled in his favor.
In the judge's closing statement he asked the man, 'I would like you to tell me something before I let you go. I have never eaten a bald eagle, nor ever plan on it. But I'd like to know: What did it taste like?'
The man answered, 'Well, it tasted like a cross between a Whooping Crane and a Spotted Owl.'
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():nerd jokes (650): The preacher and the lawnmower |
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| Posted by cuttaholic on 13-Aug-2005 | The preacher and the lawnmowerA preacher was making his rounds to his parishioners on a bicycle, when he came upon a little boy trying to sell a lawn mower. ''How much do you want for the mower?'' asked the preacher. ''I just want enough money to go out and buy me a bicycle'', said the little boy.
After a moment of consideration, the preacher asked, ''Will you take my bike in trade for it?'' The little boy asked if he could try it out first, and after riding the bike around a little while said, ''Mister, you've got yourself a deal.'' The preacher took the mower and began to try to crank it. He pulled on the string a few times with no response from the mower. The preacher called the little boy over and said, ''I can't get this mower to start.''
The little boy said, ''That's because you have to cuss at it to get it started.''
The preacher said, ''I am a minister, and I cannot cuss. It has been so long since I have been saved that I do not even remember how to cuss.''
The little boy looked at him happily and said, ''Just keep pulling on that string. It'll come back to ya!''
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