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| Posted by bubba joe on 10-Aug-2005 | AtomsTwo atoms are walking down the street...one atom says to the other "I think I
lost an electron" The other atom says "are you sure?" "Yeah I'm Positive!"
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| Posted by Amanda Ciaramella on 10-Aug-2005 | Blown A SealA man was driving down an Alaskan road and his car broke down. He phoned the
Alaskan Mobile Fixit Service and they arrived shortly after. He service man
opened the bonnet and after a while the repair man said, " It looks like you've
blown a seal ", the man replies "No, it's just frost on my moustache."
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| Posted by Jr Sand on 10-Aug-2005 | The foreign manTheir was an foreign man who knew a little english and lived in a hotel, so
one day he told the waitress "i wanta f***" the waitress said "what!!!" i want
f*** i wanta f*** on the table" the waitress answered and said "u better not u
son of a bitch" so the waitress left mad and never gave him a fork. the next day
he went to the manager and said "i wanta s***" the manager said "what!!!" 'i
wanta s*** i wanta s*** on my bed' the manager answered and said " u better not
u son of a bitch" and he never got the sheet he wanted.
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| Posted by Hottstufff on 10-Aug-2005 | Giving Sad News to a TroopThe Captain called the Sergeant in. "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private
Jones' mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me." So
the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops.
"Listen up, men," says the Sergeant. "Johnson, report to the mess hall for KP.
Smith, report to Personnel to sign some papers. The rest of you men report to
the Motor Pool for maintenance. Oh by the way, Jones, your mother died, report
to the commander." Later that day the Captain called the Sergeant into his
office. "Hey, Sarge, that was a pretty cold way to inform Jones his mother died.
Couldn't you be a bit more tactful, next time?" "Yes, sir," answered the Sarge.
A few months later, the Captain called the Sergeant in again with, "Sarge, I
just got a telegram that Private McGrath's mother died. You'd better go tell him
and send him in to see me. This time is more tactful." So the Sergeant calls for
his morning formation. "Ok, men, fall in and listen up." "Everybody with a
mother, take two steps forward." "Not so fast, McGrath!"
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| Posted by redhead on 10-Aug-2005 | Bad PartyAfter the annual office christmas party blowout, john woke up with a pounding
headache, cotton-mouthed, and utterly unable to recall the events of the
preceding evening. after a trip to the bathroom he was able to make his way
downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him. "louise," he moaned,
"tell me what went on last night. was it as bad as i think?" "even worse," she
assured him in her most scornful one. "you made a complete ass of yourself,
succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors, and insulted the
chairman of the company to his face." "he's an arrogant, self-important prick,
piss on him!" "you did. all over his suit, " louise informed him. "and he fired
you." "well, f*** him," said john. "i did. you're back at work on monday."
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| Posted by Queen Leef on 10-Aug-2005 | Horsey ridesThat little bastard Little Johnny was passing his parents bedroom in the
middle of the night in search of a glass of water. Hearing a lot of moaning and
thumping, he peeks in and catches his parents in the act.
Before his Dad can even react, little Johnny exclaims, 'Oh boy! Horsey ride.
Daddy can I ride on your back?'
Daddy, relieved that Johnny was not asking more uncomfortable questions and
seeing the opportunity not to break his stride, agrees.
Johnny hops on and daddy starts going to town. Pretty soon his mummy starts
moaning and gasping and Johnny cries out, 'Hang on tight, Daddy. This is the
part where me and the milkman usually get bucked off!'
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