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| Posted by Jason White on 10-Aug-2005 | Aunty's letterDear Sanju baba,
I'm writting this slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where
we did when you left home.
Your Pa read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 minutes of
your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last
family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't
have to change their address.
This place is really nice. I even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works
so well, though, Last week I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain, we
haven't seen it since. The weather isn't bad here.
It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second
time for fourdays. About that coat you wanted me to send; your Uncle said it
would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off
and put them in the pockets.
Bablu locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it
took him two hours to get me and your father out. Your sister had a baby this
morning, but I haven't found out what it is yet so I don't know if you are an
aunt or uncle.
The baby looks just like your brother. Uncle Rakesh fell into a swimming pool
last week. Some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We
had him cremated; he burned for three days.
Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Bablu was driving.
He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in the
back, they drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.
I am now closing this letter and will share more good news with you again next
time. Your Favorite Aunt,
P.S...If this letter does not reach you, please let me know, I will send u
another.
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| Posted by TigerFly on 10-Aug-2005 | Johnny was asked by his motherJohnny was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday School. 'Well,
mum, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue
mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt.
'When he got to the Red Sea he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge and
all the people walked across safely. Then he used his walkie-talkie to radio
headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and
saved the Israelites.
' 'Now, Johnny, is that really what your teacher taught you?' his mother
asked. 'Well, no, mom, but if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never
believe it.'
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():little johnny (1883): A little girl and a little boy were at day care.. |
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| Posted by Mindy A. Gotsch on 10-Aug-2005 | A little girl and a little boy were at day care..A little girl and a little boy were at day care one day. The girl approaches
the boy and says, "Hey Tommy, wanna play house?"
He says, "Sure! What do you want me to do?"
The girl replies, "I want you to communicate your thoughts."
"Communicate my thoughts?" said a bewildered Tommy. "I
have no idea what that means."
The little girl smirks and says, "Perfect. You can be the husband."
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| Posted by Andree-Anne E. Rivard on 10-Aug-2005 | Backward SantaAs a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual,"And what
would you like for Christmas?"
The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped:
"Didn't you get my E-mail?"
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():little johnny (1883): A fifth grader looked downcast, so her teacher ask |
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| Posted by Becky Holland on 10-Aug-2005 | A fifth grader looked downcast, so her teacher askA fifth grader looked downcast, so her teacher asked, "What's the problem,
Carol? I hope it's not homework again."
"Well, uh, yes, it is." replied Carol. "I was stupid and made my homework
paper into a paper airplane."
"Carol, you're right, that wasn't a very bright thing to do," said the
teacher, "but this once I'll let you just unfold the paper and hand it in."
"Oh, but that won't work," said Carol, looking even sadder. "You see,the plane
was hijacked."
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| Posted by Gracey Lou Freebush on 10-Aug-2005 | Three babies in a woman's wombThere were three babies in a woman's womb, and they were discussing what they
would like to be when they were out in the world and grown up.
The first one said "I wanna be a plumber." The others laughed at this, and
asked why he wanted be be a plumber. He replied, "So I can fix the pipes in
here, it's kinda leaky."
The second one said "I wanna be an electrician." The others thought this was
kind of silly too and asked why. The second baby answered, "so I can get some
lights in here, its dark!"
The third one said, "I wanna be a boxer." The others thought this was
hilarious, and laughed for a full five minutes, before asking, "Why in God's
name do you want to be a boxer?"
He replied, "So," he said proudly, "I can beat the hell out of that bald guy
who keeps coming in here and spitting on us.
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