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| Posted by DJ Kooney on 14-Aug-2005 | Baby ShowerI took a baby shower once. It left my skin baby soft.
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():funny quotes (263): "Sometimes when I'm sitting in my car at a... |
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| Posted by Dr.16 on 07-Aug-2005 | "Sometimes when I'm sitting in my car at a..."Sometimes when I'm sitting in my car at a stop light, I imagine myself as
Luke Skywalker, and I close my eyes and concentrate on using The Force.
Sometimes I have to concentrate longer than others, but I know it works,
'cause the light always turns green."
- Troy Peterson
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| Posted by Kayla Phillips on 13-Aug-2005 | Useful Work Phrases1. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
2. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
3. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
4. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
5. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.
6. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
7. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
8. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
9. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
10. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
11. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
12. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
13. No, my powers can only be used for good.
14. How about never? Is never good for you?
15. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
16. You sound reasonable . Time to up my medication.
17. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
18. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message .
19. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
20. Who me? I just wander from room to room.
21. My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!
22. It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.
23. At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.
24. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
25. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
26. Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
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():funny quotes (263): "What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds." |
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| Posted by Jason J. Barber on 09-Aug-2005 | "What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds."Cindy Garner
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| Posted by Mya F. Whooch on 14-Aug-2005 | TruismsNobody will ever win the battle of the sexes...
There's too much fraternizing with the enemy.
A baby first laughs at the age of four weeks,
By that time his eyes focus well enough to see you clearly.
Drive carefully,
It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
Don't worry about the world ending today...
It's already tomorrow in Australia.
Character is what you are.
Reputation is what people think you are.
Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods.
Cats have never forgotten this.
A man who says marriage is a 50-50 proposition doesn't understand two
things: 1. Women. 2. Fractions.
The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
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| Posted by Lubo on 14-Aug-2005 | All cut upParital birth abortion--the best thing since sliced bread!
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