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| Posted by Brendan Cross on 09-Aug-2005 | BackwardsPaddy went to a riding stable and hired a horse.
"Hold on for a moment," said the assistant as he helped him on to the horse, "aren't you putting the saddle on backwards?"
"Why, you don't even know which way I want to go!"
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Yisman
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| Posted by BILLY B. PLOTTER on 09-Aug-2005 | Bono & hitchhikersBono is known as charitable but he???‚¬?„?s cautious too. I mean, he???‚¬?„?ll pick up hitchhikers then make them ride in the trunk.
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| Posted by Kathryn Ellis on 09-Aug-2005 | AppearanceOn a flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights.
This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants.
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| Posted by Adam R. Culbertson on 09-Aug-2005 | MaroonedA boat carrying blue paint and a boat carrying red paint collided in the middle of the ocean.
What happened to the crew?
They were marooned.
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| Posted by Ba A. Bi on 09-Aug-2005 | Hung like a horseA horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking.
He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety.
The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's Mercedes back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper.
He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking!
A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole.
The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer.
The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, "Grab for my 'thingy' and pull yourself up." And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.
The moral of the story:
If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a Mercedes to pick up chicks.
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| Posted by Kris10 on 09-Aug-2005 | Smoking sectionHeard on a Southwest Airline flight.
"Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to
smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing and if you can
light'em, you can smoke 'em."
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