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():other funny jokes (4827): Bad Breath


Posted by John Doe on 12-Aug-2005

Bad Breath

You're breath's so stinky I don't know whether I should give you a breath mint or toilepaper!
   

35 people have rated this joke:
4.57/10
     

():other funny jokes (4827): The landlord


Posted by terrys funny on 09-Aug-2005

The landlord

A group of American tourists were being guided through an ancient castle in Europe.

"This place," the guide told them, "is 600 years old. Not a stone in it has been touched, nothing altered, nothing replaced in all those years."

"Wow," said one woman dryly, "they must have the same landlord I do."

   

2 people have rated this joke:
4.50/10
     

():other funny jokes (4827): Mailman


Posted by Spy5 on 09-Aug-2005

Mailman

I had just moved into a new apartment and was having problems with the mailman, who was delivering the previous tenant's mail to my address. Hoping to resolve the situation, I enlarged my name on the mailbox, but he still kept giving me the wrong letters.

Finally, I left a note saying that he was delivering the mail incorrectly. The next day I went to the box to find this addition to my message:

"Sir, I am delivering the mail correctly. You're just living at the wrong address."




   

2 people have rated this joke:
4.50/10
     

():other funny jokes (4827): Corrupt Politicians


Posted by jocelyn price on 09-Aug-2005

Corrupt Politicians

A member of the Senate, known for his hot temper and acid tongue, explodes one day in mid-session and begins to shout: "Half of this Senate is made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!" All the other Senators plead to the angry member that he withdraw his statement, or be removed from the remainder of the session. After a long pause, the angry member accepted.

"Ok" he said, "I withdraw what I said. Half of this Senate is NOT made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!"
   

4 people have rated this joke:
4.50/10
     

():other funny jokes (4827): I've Found Religion! It's In My Plate.


Posted by Ken Jackowitz on 10-Aug-2005
I've Found Religion! It's In My Plate.
A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the
condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.
"Well," he said, 'I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot.
I want the condoms because I think tonight's 'the' night. We're having dinner
with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm going to
get lucky after that. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd
better give me the 12 pack."
The young man makes his purchase and leaves. Later that evening, he sits down
to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the
blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying with his
head down for several minutes after everyone starts eating. The girl leans over
and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person." He leans
over to her and says, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."
   

2 people have rated this joke:
4.50/10
     

():other funny jokes (4827): Business Mergers


Posted by funky chick on 12-Aug-2005
Business Mergers
Xerox and Wurlitzer: They're going to make reproductive organs

Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers: New company will be called Fairwell Honeychild

Polygram records, Warner Brothers and Keebler: new company will be called Poly Warner Cracker

W.R. Grace Co., Fuller Brush Co., Mary Kay Cosmetics and Hale Business Systems: New company will be called Hale Mary Fuller Grace

3M and Goodyear: New company will be called mmmGood

John Deere and Abitibi-Price: new company will be called Deere Abi

Honeywell, Imasco, and Home Oil: New company will be called Honey I'm Home

Denison Mines, Alliance and Metal Mining: New company will be called Mine, All Mine

3M, J.C. Penney and Canadian Opera Company: New company will be called 3 Penney Opera

Grey Poupon and Dockers Pants: New company will be called Poupon Pants

Knott's Berry Farm and National organization of Women: New company will be called Knott NOW!

Zippo Manufacturing, Audi, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining: New compant will be called Zip Audi Do-Da
   

4 people have rated this joke:
4.50/10
     

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