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():sport jokes (950): "You're going out to play golf again?" his... |
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| Posted by Scotman23 on 13-Aug-2005 | Great game of golfJohn and his friend George go golfing together one Saturday morning, as they have done for 24 years straight. Yes, you might say these guys were fanatics about their golfing.
Later that day, John returns home exhausted, and plops down in the easy chair. His wife is concerned and asks if something went wrong with his game.
"No, no," he replied, "I had the best game I had in years! As a matter of fact, I started out the first three holes at 4 under par, including a hole-in-two on the 3rd."
"So why are you so beat?" his wife asked.
"Well, George had a heart attack and died on the 4th hole," he said.
"What?!? And you're so exhausted from trying to save him, huh?"
"No, It was very quick and there was nothing anyone could've done. But after that, it was just hit the ball, drag George, hit the ball, drag George..."
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():sport jokes (950): Slow Golfers/The Pastor, Doctor and Engineer |
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| Posted by dave j. lochner on 13-Aug-2005 | Slow Golfers/The Pastor, Doctor and EngineerA pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!
"The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greenskeeper. Let's have a word with him."
[dramatic pause]
"Hi George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greenskeeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
The group was silent for a moment. The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
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| Posted by Charlie Morris on 13-Aug-2005 | Frog CaddyA middle-aged man was golfing one day, and as he was about to hit the 18th hole, he suddenly heard "ribbit 9 iron". He looked around, but seeing nobody but a frog, he went back to his business of golfing. Again, the voice said "ribbit 9 iron". He looked around again and his eyes landed on the frog. He said "well mister frog, I guess i will give it a try. i have nothing to lose." So he got his 9 iron out of his bag and proceeded to hit a hole in one. He picked up the frog and said "by golly, you ARE a lucky frog. where shall we go to see just how lucky you really are?" and the frog replied "ribbit los vagas."
So the man and his frog got on the next plane to Los Vagas. When they arrived, the man asked, "where to now?" and the frog replied "Ribbit casino". They walked into the nearest casino, and the man asked "what shall we play?" and the frog said "ribbit rulette". The pair walked over to the rulette table, and the frog said "ribbit two sixes." Now this is a one-in-a-million chance, but the man bet all his money on these two sixes. And what do you know, he won!
"frog, you really ARE a lucky frog... how can i ever repay you?" said the man. The frog replyed, "ribbit kiss me" and when the man did, it turned into a beautifull woman. The next thing the man knew he was saying...
"And thats how the 16 year old girl ended up in my hotel room or my name isn't William Jefferson Clinton".
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