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| Posted by MrMatt on 10-Aug-2005 | Bad sexA wife is going through her husband's closet one day when she finds a metal
box. Inside the box she finds 3 golf balls and $20,000. She immediately goes
downstairs and confronts him with it.
Wife: "What is this box for?"
Husband: "Well, every time we had bad sex I put a golf ball in the box."
The wife thought this was pretty good seeing as how they had been married for
20 years.
Wife: "What is the $20,000 for?"
Husband: "Every time I got a dozen golf balls I sold them."
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| Posted by Erica Campbell on 10-Aug-2005 | Handicap golfA guy about to tee off was approached by a man who held out a card that read,
"I am a deaf mute. May I please play through?"
The first man gave the card back, angrily shaking his head, and saying, "No,
you CANNOT play through." He assumed the guy read lips so he mouthed, "I can't
believe you would try to use your handicap to your own advantage like that!
Shame on you!"
The deaf man walked away and the first man whacked the ball onto the green and
then walked off to finish the hole.
Just as he was about to put the ball into the hole he was hit in the head with
a golf ball that knocked him out cold.
When he came to a few minutes later, he looked around and saw the deaf mute
sternly looking at him, one hand on his hip, the other hand holding up four
fingers.
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| Posted by Super*Star* on 10-Aug-2005 | Grosse basketballQ: Why is basketball the grossest sport there is?
A: Because they dribble all over the court.
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| Posted by jocelyn price on 10-Aug-2005 | Football animalsDuring the Super Bowl, there was another football game of note between the big
animals and the small animals. The big animals were crushing small animals and
at half-time, the coach made a passionate speech to rally the little animals.
At the start of the second half the big animals had the ball. The first play,
the elephant got stopped for no gain. The second play, the rhino was stopped for
no gain. On third down, the hippo was thrown for a 5 yard loss.
The defense huddled around the coach and he asked excitedly,
"Who stopped the elephant?"
"I did," said the centipede.
"Who stopped the rhino?"
"Uh, that was me too," said the centipede.
"And how about the hippo? Who hit him for a 5 yard loss?"
"Well, that was me as well," said the centipede.
"So where were you during the first half?" demanded the coach.
"Well," said the centipede, "I was having my ankles taped."
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| Posted by pointless on 10-Aug-2005 | Keep your eye on the ballHow was your golf game, dear?" asked Jack's wife, Edna.
"Well, I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight's gotten so bad I couldn't
see where the ball went."
"Well, you're seventy-five years old, Jack!" admonished his wife. "Why don't
you take my brother, Ronald, along the next time you play?"
"But he's EIGHTY-FIVE and doesn't even PLAY golf anymore," protested Jack.
"But he's got perfect eyesight after his cataract surgery. He could watch your
ball," Edna pointed out.
So the next day Jack teed off, with Ronald looking on. Jack swung, and the
ball disappeared down the middle of the fairway. "Do you see it?" asked Jack.
"Yup," answered Ronald.
"Where did it go?" asked Jack, peering off into the distance.
"I dunno. I forgot," said Ronald.
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| Posted by B B on 10-Aug-2005 | Lady golferA lady is golfing with some friends. After sinking her first putt, she's on
her way down the path to the second tee when she gets stung by a bee. She rushes
the short distance back to the clubhouse, hoping to find a doctor.
She bumps into the resident golf pro, who says "What can I help you with?" The
woman tells him she's been stung by a bee.
The pro asks, "Oh really, where?"
The lady replies, "Between the first and second hole."
To that the golf pro states, "Well, first of all, your stance is way too
wide!"
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