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| Posted by Heaven on 09-Aug-2005 | Backup -Backup - What you do when you sight a skunk in the woods.
Bar code - Them's the fight'n rules down da local tavern.
Bug - The reason you is a giv'n for calling in sick.
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| Posted by faulk t. poo on 09-Aug-2005 | Dictionary ofDictionary of Evaluation Comments
Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations s/he keeps cranking out.
WILL GO FAR: Relative of management.
SHOULD GO FAR: Please.
USES TIME EFFECTIVELY: Clock watcher.
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| Posted by Iain A. Hewitt on 09-Aug-2005 | The wifeThe wife says: I'm not yelling!
The wife means: Yes I am! I think this is important!
In answer to the question "What's wrong?"
The wife says: The same old thing.
The wife means: Nothing.
The wife says: Nothing.
The wife means: Everything.
The wife says: Nothing, really.
The wife means: It's just that you're an idiot.
The wife says: I don't want to talk about it.
The wife means: I'm still building up steam.
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| Posted by Zak on 09-Aug-2005 | Competent:Competent: Is still able to get work done if supervisor helps.
Conscientious and careful: Scared.
Consults with co-workers often: Indecisive, confused, and clueless.
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| Posted by Cronic U. Bobinstein on 09-Aug-2005 | Keyboard: WhereKeyboard: Where ya hang your keys.
Software: Them plastic eatin' utensils.
Mouse: Whats eats the horses grain.
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| Posted by Frenzy Freek on 09-Aug-2005 | A keenA keen analyst: Thoroughly confused.
Accepts new job assignments willingly: Never finishes a job.
Active socially: Drinks heavily.
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| Posted by glenno on 09-Aug-2005 | The wifeThe wife says: This kitchen is so inconvenient
The wife means: I want a new house.
The wife says: I want new curtains.
The wife means: Also carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper!
The wife says: I need wedding shoes.
The wife means: The other forty pairs are the wrong shade of white.
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| Posted by Tiger Fly on 09-Aug-2005 | TOOTHACHE: TheTOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction.
TOMORROW: One of the greatest labour saving devices of today.
YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.
WRINKLES: Something other people have. You have character lines.
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| Posted by Raymond m. Dawood on 09-Aug-2005 | Uses resourcesUses resources well: Delegates everything.
Uses time effectively: Clock watcher.
Very creative: Finds 22 reasons to do anything except original work.
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| Posted by korn_kid on 09-Aug-2005 | Displays excellentDisplays excellent intuitive judgement: Knows when to disappear.
Displays great dexterity and agility: Dodges and evades superiors well.
Enjoys job: Needs more to do.
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| Posted by chris d. delis on 09-Aug-2005 | Dictionary ofDictionary of Evaluation Comments
Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations s/he keeps cranking out.
METICULOUS IN ATTENTION TO DETAIL: A nitpicker.
DEMONSTRATES QUALITIES OF LEADERSHIP: Has a loud voice.
JUDGEMENT IS USUALLY SOUND: Lucky.
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| Posted by Ana N. Facchin on 09-Aug-2005 | Dictionary ofDictionary of Evaluation Comments
Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations s/he keeps cranking out.
IS UNUSUALLY LOYAL: Wanted by no-one else.
ALERT TO COMPANY DEVELOPMENTS: An office gossip.
REQUIRES WORK-VALUE ATTITUDINAL READJUSTMENT: Lazy and hard-headed.
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| Posted by Suck A. Dick on 09-Aug-2005 | Hard worker:Hard worker: Usually does it the hard way.
Identifies major management problems: Complains a lot.
Indifferent to instruction: Knows more than superiors.
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| Posted by GRIMrprTAZ on 09-Aug-2005 | These translationsThese translations are for all of you wonderful women out there, so that you will know what we really mean when we say...
"OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Translated:* "I have actually severed a limb but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."
"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING."
Translated:* "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."
"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Translated:* "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
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| Posted by weirdgirl27 on 09-Aug-2005 | Prenatal: WhenPrenatal: When your life was still somewhat your own.
Preprared childbirth: A contradiction in terms.
Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
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| Posted by Mr Serty Bond on 09-Aug-2005 | The wifeThe wife says: Do what you want
The wife means: You'll pay for this later
The wife says: We need to talk
The wife means: I need to complain
The wife says: Sure... go ahead
The wife means: I don't want you to
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| Posted by brandon issler on 09-Aug-2005 | Keeps informedKeeps informed on business issues: Subscribes to Playboy and National Enquirer.
Listens well: Has no ideas of his own.
Maintains a high degree of participation: Comes to work on time.
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| Posted by Velcro on 09-Aug-2005 | Dictionary ofDictionary of Evaluation Comments
Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations s/he keeps cranking out.
ZEALOUS ATTITUDE: Opinionated.
CHARACTER ABOVE REPROACH: Still one step ahead of the law.
UNLIMITED POTENTIAL: Will stick with us until retirement.
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| Posted by Charisma K. Carsinoger on 09-Aug-2005 | The wifeThe wife says: You want
The wife means: You want
The wife says: We need
The wife means: I want
The wife says: It's your decision
The wife means: The correct decision should be obvious
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| Posted by Wild Bill on 09-Aug-2005 | Show off:Show off: A child who is more talented than yours.
Sterilize: What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.
Storeroom: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can't quite reach anything.
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| Posted by Tom J. L on 09-Aug-2005 | Ram: TheRam: The hydrolic thingy that splits the firewood.
Hard Drive: Getting' home in the winter season.
Prompt: What you wish the mail was in the winter.
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| Posted by Jumpo Kinkytail on 09-Aug-2005 | The wifeThe wife says: I'n not upset
The wife means: Of course I'm upset you moron
The wife says: You're ... so manly
The wife means: You need a shave and sweat a lot
The wife says: Be romantic, turn out the lights
The wife means: I have flabby thighs.
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| Posted by Saer Sida on 09-Aug-2005 | Maintains professionalMaintains professional attitude: A snob.
Meticulous in attention to detail: A nitpicker.
Mover and shaker: Favors steamroller tactics without regard for other opinions.
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| Posted by Tony Klassen on 09-Aug-2005 | Internet -Internet - Where cafeteria workers put their hair.
Keyboard - Where you hang the keys to the John Deere.
Mac - Big Bob's favorite fast food.
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| Posted by Periwinkle on 09-Aug-2005 | The wifeThe wife says: You have to learn to communicate.
The wife means: Just agree with me.
The wife says: Are you listening to me?
The wife means: [Too late, your doomed.]
The wife says: Yes
The wife means: No
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| Posted by Ronald A. Court on 09-Aug-2005 | Dictionary ofDictionary of Evaluation Comments
Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations s/he keeps cranking out.
VERY CREATIVE: Finds 22 reasons to do anything except original work.
USES RESOURSES WELL: Delegates everything.
DESERVES PROMOTION: Create new title to make h/h feel appreciated.
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| Posted by Dan Linsky on 09-Aug-2005 | These translationsThese translations are for all of you wonderful women out there, so that you will know what we really mean when we say...
"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Translated:* "I have no idea how it works."
"TAKE A BREAK, HONEY. YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."
Translated:* "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
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| Posted by Pretzelkin on 09-Aug-2005 | Log On:Log On: Makin' the wood stove hotter.
Log Off: Don't add no wood.
Monitor: Keepin' an eye on the wood stove.
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| Posted by danny on 09-Aug-2005 | Straightforward:Straightforward: Blunt and insensitive.
Strong adherence to principles: Stubborn.
Tactful in dealing with superiors: Knows when to keep mouth shut.
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| Posted by grayson on 09-Aug-2005 | INFLATION: CuttingINFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
MYTH: A female moth.
MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better.
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