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| Posted by Misty Jenkins on 09-Aug-2005 | Diskette -Diskette - A female Disco dancer.
Hacker - Uncle Leroy after thirty years of smoking.
Hardcopy - Picture looked at when selecting tattoos.
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| Posted by Nick R. M on 09-Aug-2005 | Left BankLeft Bank \left' bangk'\: What the robber did when his bag was full of loot.
Misty \mis'-tee\: How golfers create divots.
Paradox \par'-uh-doks\: Two physicians.
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| Posted by Laura Seeley on 09-Aug-2005 | Megahertz -Megahertz - How your head feels after seventeen beers.
Modem - What ya did when the grass and weeds got too tall.
Mouse pad - Where Mickey and Minnie live.
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| Posted by Matt Der on 09-Aug-2005 | Temper tantrums:Temper tantrums: What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children.
Top bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.
Two-minute warning: When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.
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| Posted by Bryce m. Reineman on 09-Aug-2005 | Dictionary ofDictionary of Evaluation Comments
Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations s/he keeps cranking out.
WELL ORGANIZED: Does too much busywork.
COMPETENT: Is still able to get work done if supervisor helps.
CONSULTS WITH SUPERVISOR OFTEN: Annoying.
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| Posted by hottsk8er on 09-Aug-2005 | Quick thinking:Quick thinking: Offers plausible excuses for errors.
Requires work-value attitudinal readjustment: Lazy and hard-headed.
Should go far: Please.
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| Posted by faulk t. poo on 09-Aug-2005 | Not aNot a desk person: Did not go to college.
Of great value to the organization: Turns in work on time.
Use all available resources: Takes office supplies home for personal use.
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| Posted by Jason A. Romig on 09-Aug-2005 | Windows: WhatWindows: What to shut when it's below 15 below.
Screen: What 'cha need for the black fly season.
Byte: That's what the flies do.
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| Posted by Tim Lucky on 09-Aug-2005 | Bottle feeding:Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too.
Defense: What you'd better have around de yard if you're going to let the children play outside.
Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins.
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| Posted by Gretchen Ross on 09-Aug-2005 | Dictionary ofDictionary of Evaluation Comments
Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations s/he keeps cranking out.
APPROACHES DIFFICULT PROBLEMS WITH LOGIC: Finds someone else to do the job.
A KEEN ANALYST: Thoroughly confused.
NOT A DESK PERSON: Did not go to college.
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| Posted by Nickie M. Necsefr on 09-Aug-2005 | Impregnable: AImpregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.
Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
Look out: What it's too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.
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| Posted by kakyok on 09-Aug-2005 | Bernadette \burn'-a-det\:Bernadette \burn'-a-det\: The act of torching a mortgage.
Burglarize \bur'-gler-ize\: What a crook sees with.
Counterfeiters \kown-ter-fit-ers\: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets.
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| Posted by Kuhrsartep on 09-Aug-2005 | These translationsThese translations are for all of you wonderful women out there, so that you will know what we really mean when we say...
"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Translated:* "Are you still talking?"
"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Translated:* "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop,' the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned... but I forgot your birthday."
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| Posted by Daniel Nunez on 09-Aug-2005 | Internationally know:Internationally know: Likes to go to conferences and trade shows in Las Vegas.
Is well informed: Knows all office gossip and where all the skeletons are kept.
Inspires the cooperation of others: Gets everyone else to do the work.
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| Posted by Abbi Egolf on 09-Aug-2005 | CHICKENS: TheCHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out.
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| Posted by GooberGal on 09-Aug-2005 | The wifeThe wife says: Hang the picture there
The wife means: No, I mean hang it there!
The wife says: I heard a noise
The wife means: I noticed you were almost asleep.
The wife says: Do you love me?
The wife means: I'm going to ask for something expensive.
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| Posted by Heaven on 09-Aug-2005 | Backup -Backup - What you do when you sight a skunk in the woods.
Bar code - Them's the fight'n rules down da local tavern.
Bug - The reason you is a giv'n for calling in sick.
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| Posted by faulk t. poo on 09-Aug-2005 | Dictionary ofDictionary of Evaluation Comments
Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations s/he keeps cranking out.
WILL GO FAR: Relative of management.
SHOULD GO FAR: Please.
USES TIME EFFECTIVELY: Clock watcher.
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| Posted by Iain A. Hewitt on 09-Aug-2005 | The wifeThe wife says: I'm not yelling!
The wife means: Yes I am! I think this is important!
In answer to the question "What's wrong?"
The wife says: The same old thing.
The wife means: Nothing.
The wife says: Nothing.
The wife means: Everything.
The wife says: Nothing, really.
The wife means: It's just that you're an idiot.
The wife says: I don't want to talk about it.
The wife means: I'm still building up steam.
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| Posted by Zak on 09-Aug-2005 | Competent:Competent: Is still able to get work done if supervisor helps.
Conscientious and careful: Scared.
Consults with co-workers often: Indecisive, confused, and clueless.
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| Posted by Cronic U. Bobinstein on 09-Aug-2005 | Keyboard: WhereKeyboard: Where ya hang your keys.
Software: Them plastic eatin' utensils.
Mouse: Whats eats the horses grain.
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| Posted by Frenzy Freek on 09-Aug-2005 | A keenA keen analyst: Thoroughly confused.
Accepts new job assignments willingly: Never finishes a job.
Active socially: Drinks heavily.
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| Posted by glenno on 09-Aug-2005 | The wifeThe wife says: This kitchen is so inconvenient
The wife means: I want a new house.
The wife says: I want new curtains.
The wife means: Also carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper!
The wife says: I need wedding shoes.
The wife means: The other forty pairs are the wrong shade of white.
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| Posted by Tiger Fly on 09-Aug-2005 | TOOTHACHE: TheTOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction.
TOMORROW: One of the greatest labour saving devices of today.
YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.
WRINKLES: Something other people have. You have character lines.
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| Posted by Raymond m. Dawood on 09-Aug-2005 | Uses resourcesUses resources well: Delegates everything.
Uses time effectively: Clock watcher.
Very creative: Finds 22 reasons to do anything except original work.
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| Posted by korn_kid on 09-Aug-2005 | Displays excellentDisplays excellent intuitive judgement: Knows when to disappear.
Displays great dexterity and agility: Dodges and evades superiors well.
Enjoys job: Needs more to do.
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| Posted by chris d. delis on 09-Aug-2005 | Dictionary ofDictionary of Evaluation Comments
Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations s/he keeps cranking out.
METICULOUS IN ATTENTION TO DETAIL: A nitpicker.
DEMONSTRATES QUALITIES OF LEADERSHIP: Has a loud voice.
JUDGEMENT IS USUALLY SOUND: Lucky.
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| Posted by Ana N. Facchin on 09-Aug-2005 | Dictionary ofDictionary of Evaluation Comments
Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations s/he keeps cranking out.
IS UNUSUALLY LOYAL: Wanted by no-one else.
ALERT TO COMPANY DEVELOPMENTS: An office gossip.
REQUIRES WORK-VALUE ATTITUDINAL READJUSTMENT: Lazy and hard-headed.
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| Posted by Suck A. Dick on 09-Aug-2005 | Hard worker:Hard worker: Usually does it the hard way.
Identifies major management problems: Complains a lot.
Indifferent to instruction: Knows more than superiors.
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| Posted by GRIMrprTAZ on 09-Aug-2005 | These translationsThese translations are for all of you wonderful women out there, so that you will know what we really mean when we say...
"OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Translated:* "I have actually severed a limb but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."
"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING."
Translated:* "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."
"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Translated:* "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
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