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| Posted by Lance J. Gerner on 09-Aug-2005 | Bed WetterI made myself a snowball
As perfect as can be.
I thought I'd make a pet of it
and let it sleep with me.
I made it some pajamas
and a pillow for its head,
Then last night it ran away,
But first..... it wet the bed!
Editted by Curtis and Murillos
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| Posted by Joshua on 09-Aug-2005 | Lost boyA small boy was lost at a large shopping mall.
He approached a uniformed policeman and said, "I've lost my grandpa!"
The cop asked, "What's he like?"
The little boy replied, "Jack Daniels and women with big tits".
Submitted by Curtis
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| Posted by Katrina on 09-Aug-2005 | PregnantWhen I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower.
She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!"
I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy."
"I know," she replied, but what's growing in your butt?"
Submitted by Curtis
Editted by Calamjo
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| Posted by Save D. Last Dance on 09-Aug-2005 | SissyOne summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed.
She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."
A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."
Submitted by Curtis
Editted by Calamjo
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| Posted by Siemen on 09-Aug-2005 | Getting into heavenAn exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him "How do you expect to get into Heaven?"
The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'"
Submitted by Curtis
Editted by Calamjo
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| Posted by Christopher E. Draughn on 09-Aug-2005 | Animal GameOne day the teacher decides to play an animal game. She holds up a picture of a giraffe and asks if anyone knows what it is. No one raises their hand.
The teacher says "See it's long neck? What animal has a long neck?"
Sally holds up her hand and asks if it is a giraffe.
"Very good Sally," the teacher replies.
Next she holds up a picture of a zebra. None of the students holds up their hands.
"See the stripes on this animal? What animal has stripes?"
Billy holds up his hand and says it is a zebra.
"Very good Billy," the teacher replies. Next she holds up a picture of a deer. None of the students holds up their hand.
"See the big antlers on this animal. What animal has horns like this?"
Still no one guesses.
"Let me give you another hint, it's something your mother calls your father."
Johnny shouts out "I know what it is, it's a horny bastard."
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