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():little johnny (1883): Bedpan


Posted by Yanie on 09-Aug-2005

Bedpan

A young man visited his sister who was married to a farmer in a poor district of the country.

Since there were limited accommodations, he was required to sleep with his young nephew.

When the young man came into the bedroom, he saw the little boy kneeling at the side of the bed with his head bowed. Thinking this was the child's religious upbringing, he decided to present a good example and kneeled at the other side of the bed with his head bowed.

The child looked up and said, "Whatcha doin'?"

"Why, the same thing you're doing", replied the uncle.

"Ma's gonna be mad", said the boy.

"The bedpan??ôs on this side".
   

1 people have rated this joke:
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():little johnny (1883): I Want A Bike


Posted by Answering machine jokes on 09-Aug-2005

I Want A Bike

Little Gregory wakes up in the middle of the night feeling alone and scared.

He goes into his mother's room for comfort and he sees his mom standing naked in front of the mirror.

She is rubbing her chest and groaning, "I want a man, I want a man."

Shaking his head in bewilderment, Gregory takes off to bed.

Next night the same thing happens. On the third night, Gregory wakes up and goes into his mom's room but this time there is a man in bed with his mom.

Gregory hoofs back to his room and whips off his pyjamas, rubs his chest and groans " I want a bike, I want a bike."

   

3 people have rated this joke:
7.00/10
     

():little johnny (1883): Beautiful


Posted by sheila Murray on 09-Aug-2005

Beautiful

The teacher says, "Children, today I will ask each of you to come to the front of the class and use a word in a sentence. Today's word is "beautiful".

Little Sally, would you please come up here and use "beautiful" in a sentence?"

Little Sally walked to the front of the room, thought for a moment and said, "Teacher, my mom is the most beautiful woman in the world."

Teacher says, "Very good, Little Sally, you may sit. Little Frankie, your turn."

Little Frankie walked to the front of the room, thought for a moment and said, "Teacher, the sunrise this morning was the most beautiful sunrise I have ever seen."

Teacher says, "Very good, Little Frankie, you may sit. Little Johnny, it's your turn."

Little Johnnie walked to the front of the room, thought for a moment and said, "Teacher, last night my big sister told my dad that she was pregnant and he said, "Beautiful, just fucking beautiful."

   

3 people have rated this joke:
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():little johnny (1883): School dinners


Posted by Heather R. Winter on 09-Aug-2005

School dinners

"Any complaints?" asked the teacher during school dinner.

"Yes sir," said one bold lad, "these peas are awfully hard, sir."

The master dipped a spoon into the peas on the boy's plate and tasted them.

"They seem soft enough to me," he declared.

"Yes, they are now, I've been chewing them for the last half-hour."

Submitted by Frodo
Submitted by calamjo and Curtis
   

3 people have rated this joke:
7.00/10
     

():little johnny (1883): Bad words


Posted by Keisuke-Kun on 09-Aug-2005
Bad words
A mom tells her kid never go to the north or south.

So what does the kid do he goes to the north and hears, 'bitches and bastards', 'bitches and bastards.'

The kid goes back to the mom and asks "Mommy what does 'bitches and bastards' mean?"

The mom says, "Family son, family."

Then he goes to the south and hears, 'big hairy dicks', 'big hairy dicks'.

He goes to his dad and asks, "Dad, what does 'big hairy dicks' mean?"

The dad says, "Hats and coats, son, hats and coats."

Then he walks into the bathroom while his dad is shaving and his dad cuts himself and yells, "Shit."

The kid asks his dad, "What does 'shit' mean?"

The dad says, "Shaving, son, shaving."

The kid says, "Ok."

The kid walks into the kitchen where his mom is carving the turkey, and she cuts herself and says, 'Fuck'.

The kid asks, "Mommy what does 'fuck' mean?"

She says, "Carving the turkey, son, carving the turkey."

Then there's a knock on the door and his mom asks, "Oh, will you get that? It's your cousins."

So he answers the door and says, "Hey bitches and bastards hang your big hairy dicks in the closet, dad's in the bathroom shiting and mom's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."

Submitted by Hello
Edited by Curtis
   

3 people have rated this joke:
7.00/10
     

():little johnny (1883): Children


Posted by jana on 09-Aug-2005
Children
A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes after....."Da-ad...."

"What?" dad said.

"I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?"

"No, You had your chance. Lights out."

Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....."

"WHAT?" "I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water?"

"I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"

Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad....."

"WHAT?!"

"When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"

Submitted by Curtis
edited by calamjo
   

3 people have rated this joke:
7.00/10
     

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