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| Posted by Chris C. Perry on 09-Aug-2005 | Beer BrothersAn Irish man walks into a pub. The bartender asks him, "What'll you have?"
The man says, "Give me three pints of Guinness please.
So the bartender brings him three pints and the man proceeds to alternately sip one, then the other, then the third until they're gone.
He then orders three more.
The bartender says, "Sir, I know you like them cold. You don't have to order three at a time. I can keep an eye on it and when you get low I'll bring you a fresh cold one."
The man says, "You don't understand. I have two brothers, one in Australia and one in the States. We made a vow to each other that every Saturday night we'd still drink together. So right now, my brothers have three Guinness Stouts too, and we're drinking together. The bartender thought that was a wonderful tradition.
Every week the man came in and ordered three beers.
Then one week he came in and ordered only two. He drank them and then ordered two more.
The bartender said to him, "I know what your tradition is, and I'd just like to say that I'm sorry that one of your brothers died."
The man said, "Oh, me brothers are fine----I just quit drinking."
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| Posted by Beck on 09-Aug-2005 | Beer GogglesJoe stopped at his favorite watering hole after a hard day's work to relax. He noticed a man next to him order a shot and a beer. The man drank the shot, chased it with the beer and then looked into his shirt pocket. This continued several times before Joe's curiosity got the best of him. He leaned over to the guy and said, ???Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice your little ritual. Why in the world do you look into your shirt pocket every time you drink your shot and beer???? The man replied, ???There's a picture of my wife in there, and when she starts lookin' good, I'm headin' home!???
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| Posted by Chapane on 09-Aug-2005 | Beer MachismoAfter the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the Presidents of the brewreys decide to go to the pub for a drink. The coors President said "Can I have the only beer made with Rocky Mountain Spring Water: a Coors, please."
The bartender gave him the drink.
Then the Budweiser President orders, "The King Of Beers -- Budweiser."
The bartender proceeds with the order.
The Amstel President walks in and orders "The Finest Beer ever."
The bartender gives him an Amstel.
Then the Guinness President says, "I'll have a coke please."
The bartender is taken aback by this but gives the coke to him anyway.
All the Presidents looked over at him and said, "Why have you ordered a coke?"
He replied, "Well if you all aren't drinking beer, then neither shall I."
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| Posted by Charles Jupe on 09-Aug-2005 | Best FriendA guy is sitting at a bar, throwing back glass after glass of scotch. The bartender, a little worried, asks him if he's okay.
"No, I'm not," the guy replies.
"I just caught my wife in bed with my best friend."
"Well," asks the bartender, "what did you say to your wife?"
"Nothing. I'm not speaking to that bitch anymore."
"Well, what did you say to your best friend?"
"BAD DOG! BAD DOG!"
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| Posted by Shadow Rat on 09-Aug-2005 | BraggadocioFour guys are drinking in a bar, bragging about their sons.
"My son," the first one says, "started out washing cars at dealership, but now owns the dealership and just gave one of his friends four new cars of his choice!"
"My son," said the second, "started out serving lunch in a real estate office, but now owns the real estate office and just gave one of his friends a new mansion!"
"My son," said the third, "started out sweeping the floors at the Stock Exchange, but now practically owns the Stock Exchange and just gave one of his friends a $1,000,000 in stock."
"Well," the fourth guy said, "my son's turned out to be a bit of a disappointment. He's a gay hairdresser and he has SEVERAL boyfriends. On the plus side, between them, they gave him four cars, a mansion, and a million dollars in stock for his birthday."
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| Posted by kirsten on 09-Aug-2005 | Deadbeat in a BarA man walked into a bar on a slow night and sat down. After a few minutes, the bartender asked him if he wanted a drink, and he said ???No thanks, I don't drink, I tried it once but I didn`t like it!??? So the bartender said, ???Well would you like a cigarette,??? but the man said ???No, I don't smoke, I tried it once but I didn`t like it!??? The bartender asked him if he'd like to play a game of pool, and again the man said ???No I don't like pool, I tried it once but I didn`t like it. As a matter of fact I wouldn`t be here at all, but I'm waiting on my son!??? The bartender said, ???Your only son I presume!!???
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