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| Posted by sam bobi on 14-Aug-2005 | Best Things Ever Said~Sex is the most fun you can have without smiling.
~Sex is nobody's business except for the three people involved.
~Your chances of getting hit by lighting go up if you stand under a tree,
shake your fist at the sky, and say, "Storms suck!"
~If homosexuality were normal God would have created Adam and Bruce.
~Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
~France is a country where the money falls apart and you can't tear the
toilet paper.
~Defeat is worse than death because you have to live with defeat.
~Groundhog Day has been observed only once in Los Angeles because when the
groundhog came out of its hole, it was killed by a mud slide.
~I hate people who keep dogs. They are the cowards that are afraid to bite
people themselves.
~Early to rise and early to bed makes a man healthy, wealthy and dead.
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():funny quotes (263): "When women are depressed, they either eat or go shopping. Men invade
another country. It's a whole |
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| Posted by Lorelea on 09-Aug-2005 | "When women are depressed, they either eat or go shopping. Men invade
another country. It's a wholeElaine Boosler
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| Posted by Elana on 14-Aug-2005 | Amendment 6In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a
speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the state and district
wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have
been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and
cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against
him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor,
and to have the assistance of counsel for his defense.
- The Constitution of the United States of America Amendment 6, 1791
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():funny quotes (263): "Sometimes when I'm sitting in my car at a... |
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| Posted by Dr.16 on 07-Aug-2005 | "Sometimes when I'm sitting in my car at a..."Sometimes when I'm sitting in my car at a stop light, I imagine myself as
Luke Skywalker, and I close my eyes and concentrate on using The Force.
Sometimes I have to concentrate longer than others, but I know it works,
'cause the light always turns green."
- Troy Peterson
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| Posted by Jo Smith on 14-Aug-2005 | Food for Thought"The problem with the designated driver program is it's not a
desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, have
fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong
house." --- Jeff Foxworthy
"Relationships are hard. It's like a full time job, and we
should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants
to leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice. There
should be severance pay, and before they leave you, they should
have to find you a temp." --- Bob Ettinger
"A study in the Washington Post says that women have better
verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of
that study: -- -- Duh." --- Conan O'Brien
"Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway
through my fish burger and I realize, oh my God.... I could be
eating a slow learner." ---Lynda Montgomery
"The day I worry about cleaning my house is the day Sears comes
out with a riding vacuum cleaner." --- Roseanne
"I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in
New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but
it just isn't cold enough. Let's go west.'" --- Richard Jeni
"Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography."
--- Paul Rodriguez
"My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned
sixty, and that's the law." --- Jerry Seinfeld
"In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up
quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is
the logic? Do tall people burn slower?" --- Warren Hutcherson
"Suppose you were an idiot... And suppose you were a member of
Congress...But I repeat myself." ---Mark Twain
"Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At
least they can find Kuwait." --- A. Whitney Brown
"We have women in the military, but we don't put them in the
front lines. We don't know if they can fight or if they can
kill. I think they can. All the general has to do is walk over
to the women and say, 'You see the enemy over there? They say
you look fat in those uniforms.'" --- Elayne Boosler
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