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| Posted by Lauren C. Mcguire on 13-Aug-2005 | Seeing the Doctor about ViagraThis old fellow in his eighties got up and was putting on his coat. His wife said, "Where are you going?"
He said, "I'm going to the doctor."
She replied, "Why, are you sick?"
"No," he said, "I'm going to get me some of those new Viagra pills."
So, his wife got up out of her rocker and was putting on her sweater when he said, "Where are you going?"
She said, "I'm going to the doctor too."
He asked, "Why?"
She said, "If you're going to start using that rusty old thing again, I'm going to get a tetanus shot."
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| Posted by Brad k. Robinson on 13-Aug-2005 | Heartbreaking letter from the InternetThis just breaks my heart... please pass it on so
more can help this unfortunate child...
> Dear Friend:
> I am a very sick boy little boy. My mother is typing
> this for me, because I can't. She is crying.
> Don't cry, Mommy! Mommy is always sad, but she says
> it's not my fault. I asked her if it was God's fault,
> but she didn't answer, and only started crying harder,
> so I don't ask her that anymore.
> The reason she is so sad is that I'm so sick. I was
> born without a body. It doesn't hurt, except when I go
> to sleep.
> The doctors gave me an artificial body. My body is a
> burlap bag filled with leaves. The doctors said that
> was the best they could do on account of us having no
> money or insurance. I would like to have a body
> transplant, but we need more money.
> Mommy doesn't work because she said employers don't
> hire crying people. I said, "Don't cry, Mommy," and she
> hugged my burlap body. Mommy always gives me hugs, even
> though she's allergic to burlap, and it chafes her real
> bad.
> I hope you will help me. You can help me if you
> forward this e-mail. Dr. Johansen said if you forward
> this e-mail then Bill Gates will team up with AOL and
> do a survey with NASA. Then the astronauts will collect
> prayers from school children all over America and take
> them up to space so that the angel can hear them
> better. Then they will go to the Pope, and he will take
> up a collection in church and send the money to the
> doctors. The doctors could help me better then.
> Maybe one day I will be able to play baseball. Or
> maybe just use my lungs and heart, when the doctors
> make them. The doctors said that every time you forward
> this letter, the astronauts can take another prayer to
> the angels. Please help me. Mommy is so sad, and I want
> a body. I don't want my leaves to rot before I turn 10.
> If you don't forward this e-mail, that's OK. Mommy
> says you're a mean heartless shithead who doesn't care
> about a poor little boy with only a head.
> She says that if you don't stew in the raw pit of
> your own guilt-ridden stomach, she hopes you die a long
> slow horrible death so you can burn forever in hell.
> What kind of goddamned person are you that you can't
> take five minutes to forward this to all your friends so
> that they can feel guilt and shame for the rest of
> their day, and then maybe help a poor, bodiless
> nine-year-old boy?
> Please help me. This really sucks. I try to be happy
> but it's hard. I wish I had a puppy. I wish I could
> hold a puppy.
> Thank You.
> Billy 'Smiles' Evans,
> The boy with just a head.
> And a burlap sack for a body.
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