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| Posted by Rita R. Mccarty on 09-Aug-2005 | Bigger than a horseA guy walks into a bar and sits on a stool. in front of him he see's a big jar full of 5's and a little card it reads:
Hello, if you would like to win all of this money you have to make the horse at the end of the bar laugh. COST $5
So, he puts in five dollars and takes the horse into the bathroom.
2 minutes later they come out and the horse is laughing so hard that he pissed on the floor.
So the guy takes the money and leaves.
THE NEXT DAY:
The same guy walks in the bar again and see's the horse and the jar, this time it says:
You can win all of this if you make the horse cry. $10
So he puts in 10 dollars and takes the horse into the bathroom.
4 minutes later they come out and the horse is crying like no body ever had. So the guy takes the jar but before he could leave the bartender asks "How did you do that?"
The guy says "The first time I told him my dick was bigger than his and the second time I showed him!"
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| Posted by Parsa Fattahi on 09-Aug-2005 | Potato down pantsThere was a guy and he was at a bar all night trying to get a lady.
He tryed and tryed all night, he couldn't get one.
He went home and his brother told him to put a potato down his pants.
On his way to the bar that night he put the potato down his pants.
He was at the bar all night.
He couldn't get a lady.
He went to home and told his brother that he still didn't get a lady.
His brother said that he should put the potato down the front of his pants next time.
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| Posted by keith on 09-Aug-2005 | Depressed in barA guy walks into a bar, looking all depressed. He goes to the bar and orders a drink.
The bartender brings it to him and asks "Do you want to talk about something? You look kinda down in the dumps".
The guy says "Well, I've suspected that my wife has been cheating on me for months, so today I took the day off work to follow her. Well, when I came home, I caught her with my best friend!"
"Wow, that must have been hard!" the bartender says "What exactly do you say to your friend in a situation like that?"
The guy at the bar replies "Well, I looked him straight in the eye, and I yelled BAD DOG!"
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| Posted by Pablo The Spicy Latin on 09-Aug-2005 | Man with no armsAn armless man walked into a bar which is empty except for the bartender. He ordered a drink and when he was served, asked the bartender if he would get the money from his wallet in his pocket, since he has no arms.
The bartender obliged him. He then asked if the bartender would tip the glass to his lips. The bartender did this until the man finished his drink. He then asked if the bartender would get a hanky from his pocket and wipe the foam from his lips. The bartender did it and commented it must be very difficult not to have arms and have to ask someone to do nearly everything for him.
The man said, "Yes, it is a bit embarrassing at times. By the way, where is your restroom?"
The bartender quickly replied, "The closest one is in the gas station three blocks down the street."
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| Posted by Hyun Choi on 09-Aug-2005 | Dennis RodmanA woman is picked up by Dennis Rodman in a bar. They like each other and she goes back with him to his hotel room.
He removes his shirt revealing all his tattoos and she sees that on his arm is one which reads, "Reebok".
She thinks that's a bit odd and asks him about it.
Dennis says, "When I play basketball, the cameras pick up the tattoo and Reebok pays me for advertisement."
A bit later, his pants are off and she sees "Puma" tattooed on his leg.
He gives the same explanation for the unusual tattoo.
Finally, the underwear comes off and she sees the word "AIDS" tattooed on his penis.
She jumps back with shock.
"I'm not going to do it with a guy who has AIDS!"
He says, "It's cool baby, in a minute it's going to say "ADIDAS".
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| Posted by Invisible Wings on 09-Aug-2005 | 12 inch prickAnother guy walks into a bar with a one foot man sitting on his shoulder.
He ordered a beer.
The bartender was curious as he got the beer for the guy, but as he put the beer down on the bar, before the gut could reach it, the little man lept off his shoulder and picked up the beer and dumped it in the guys lap.
The guy sighs and asks for a shot of whisky.
As soon as the glass hits the bar, the little man threw the drink in the guts face and smashed the shot glass against the wall.
"I have to know.... where did you get that guy?"
"Well... I'll tell you... I was walking on the beach, saw a brass lamp, rubbed it, and a geenie came out. He said I could have one wish. I asked for a twelve inch prick and this is what I got..."
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