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| Posted by michelle on 09-Aug-2005 | Birth control pillA truck driver was pulled over by a state trooper.
The patrolman told him to get out of the truck, and noticed that the driver appeared to be putting something in his mouth as he stepped out of the cab.
Figuring that the driver was putting away his pep pills, the patrolman asked, "Did I just see you swallow something?"
"Yep, that was my birth control pill," said the driver.
"Birth control pill?" asked the patrolman.
"Yep, when I saw your light, I knew I was fucked."
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Yisman
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| Posted by M C 0 4 on 09-Aug-2005 | Missing carA guy gets a phone call late at night.
A voice on the other end asks: "Hey man, do you need a car?"
Guy: "No."
Next morning he goes outside and his car is gone.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman
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| Posted by ben kiesel on 09-Aug-2005 | Thanks for the ride"Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."
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| Posted by Tiger Lily on 09-Aug-2005 | Box OfficeAs the airliner pushed back from the gate, the flight attendant gave the
passengers the usual information regarding seat belts, etc. Finally, she said, "Now sit back and enjoy your trip while your captain, Judith Campbell and crew take you safely to your destination."
Joe, sitting in the eighth row thought to himself, "Did I hear her right? Is the captain a woman?"
When the attendants came by with the drink cart, he said, "Did I understand you right? Is the captain a woman?"
"Yes," said the attendant, "In fact, this entire crew is female."
"My God," said Joe, "I'd better have two scotch and sodas. I don't know what to think of all those women up there in the cockpit."
"That's another thing sir," said the attendant, "We no longer call it the
cockpit, Now it's the 'box office'."
Submitted by Gravedigger
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by Dragonfire563 on 09-Aug-2005 | Seat beltFrom a Southwest Airlines employee: "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight 245 to
Tampa.
To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight.
It works just like every other seat belt and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."
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| Posted by Cameron Rivard on 09-Aug-2005 | Pick your favorite"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling.
Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face.
If you have a small child traveling
with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs.
If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite."
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