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| Posted by Brandy M. Richmond on 10-Aug-2005 | Biting your fingernails!Little Jimmy bit his fingernails all the time. His parents tried everything to
get him to stop, but to no avail. Finally, his mother, exasperated, decided to
tell him a little white lie to get him to stop.
"Jimmy," she said, "You'd better stop biting your fingernails. If you don't,
then those fingernails will pile up inside your stomach and soon your stomach
will be huge and full of fingernails." Jimmy, worried about the idea of
fingernails in his stomach, agreed to stop.
The next day, Jimmy and his mom were shopping in a supermarket. They went to
check out, and a pregnant woman was waiting in line in front of them. Jimmy
beamed at the pregnant woman and said, "I know what YOU'VE been doing...."
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10 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by creamofsumdumguy on 09-Aug-2005 | 3 Little PigsMy friend likes to read his two young sons fairy tales at night.
Having a deep-rooted sense of humor, he often adlibs parts of the stories for fun.
One day his youngest son was sitting in his new entrants class as the teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs. She came to the part where the first pig was trying to acquire building materials for his home.
She said, 'And so the pig went up to the man with a wheelbarrow full of straw and said, "Pardon me, sir, but might I have some of that straw to build my house with?"
Then the teacher asked the class, 'And what do you think that man said?'
And my friend's son raised his hand and said 'I know! I know. He said, "Holy shit! A talking pig!"'
The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.
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8 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by mr piemanmoo on 08-Aug-2005 | Little Jane climbs a tree...Little Jane came home from school and said, "Mommy mommy guess what? These boys wanted me to climb up a tree, so I did."
Her mom said, "You don't be a' doin' that! Those boys just wanted to see your panties!"
"Ok mommy", little Jane said.
The next day at school, the boys asked her to do it again, so she did, and at the end of the day she told her mom and her mom said, "I told you not to be a doin' that! Those boys just wanted to look at your panties!"
Little Jane looked at her mother and said, "Don't worry, mommy. I was smart this time... I didn't wear any panties."
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9 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by Hector R. Cruz on 09-Aug-2005 | $100 PleaseA little boy wanted $100, badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing
happened. Then he decided to write a letter to the Lord requesting the $100.
When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to the Lord, USA, they decided to send it to President Clinton. The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill. President Clinton thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 and sat down to write a thank-you note to the Lord. It said:
Dear Lord,
Thank you very much for sending me the money. However, I noticed that
for some reason you had to send it through Washington, DC and as
usual, those jerks deducted $95.
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7 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by ~SwEeT*HeArT~ on 09-Aug-2005 | Making new brotherOne night little Johnny got up to get a drink of water.... while walking past his parents he was forced to stop and scream daddy daddy what are you doing to mommy.
The dad simply replied mmmm??¦ just making your brother Johnny ??¦..go back to bed.
The next day when the dad got home from work he found Johnny crying on the stoop ....he asked Johnny what was wrong and Johnny replied oh daddy this morning I saw the mailman trying to eat my new brother
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7 people have rated this joke: |
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