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| Posted by hiyayaywhopee on 09-Aug-2005 | Bitter EndLittle Johnny's teacher asked him, "Johnny, give me a sentence using the words, "bitter end" in it.
Little Johnny thought for a moment and replies, "Our dog chased our cat and he bitter end."
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| Posted by Messerschmitt on 09-Aug-2005 | Worm EatingLittle Johnny sat playing in the garden.
When his mother came out to collect him, she saw that he was slowly eating a worm.
She turned pale. "No, Johnny! Stop! That's horrible! You can't eat worms!"
Trying to convince him further, "Now the mother worm is looking all over for her nice baby-worm."
"No, she isn't," said Johnny.
"Why not?"
"Because I ate her first!"
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| Posted by cool sal on 09-Aug-2005 | Your UglyLittle Johnny said to his aunt Tess, "My God, you're ugly, aren't you!"
His mother overheard this and pulled Johnny into the kitchen.
"You naughty boy!" she screamed, "How can you say to your aunt that she's ugly! You go right in and apologize to her! Tell her you're sorry!"
Little Johnny entered the living room, walked over to his aunt and said, "Aunt Tess, I am sorry you're so ugly."
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| Posted by sheila Murray on 09-Aug-2005 | BeautifulThe teacher says, "Children, today I will ask each of you to come to the front of the class and use a word in a sentence. Today's word is "beautiful".
Little Sally, would you please come up here and use "beautiful" in a sentence?"
Little Sally walked to the front of the room, thought for a moment and said, "Teacher, my mom is the most beautiful woman in the world."
Teacher says, "Very good, Little Sally, you may sit. Little Frankie, your turn."
Little Frankie walked to the front of the room, thought for a moment and said, "Teacher, the sunrise this morning was the most beautiful sunrise I have ever seen."
Teacher says, "Very good, Little Frankie, you may sit. Little Johnny, it's your turn."
Little Johnnie walked to the front of the room, thought for a moment and said, "Teacher, last night my big sister told my dad that she was pregnant and he said, "Beautiful, just fucking beautiful."
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| Posted by KateMaMate on 09-Aug-2005 | Walking The DogThis young girl about 7 year old had a dog which she took for a walk everyday after school.
Well, one day her dog was in heat, so her father told her that she couldn't walk the dog for a week or so because it wasn't feeling well.
His daughter became very upset and cried for most of the night.
The next day the father came up with a plan. He put some gasoline on the dogs rear end to hide the cover the smell from the male dogs.
Well when the girl got home she was happy to find that she could now walk her dog again.
About an hour later the girl returned without the dog.
The father asked, "what on earth has happened to the dog?"
The girl replies, "Well she ran out of gas a few blocks back and is being pushed home by another dog."
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| Posted by Kevin Polagro on 09-Aug-2005 | Can I Have A Drink?A small boy is sent to bed by his father.
Five minutes later, "Da-ad..."
"What?"
"I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?"
"No. You had your chance. Lights out."
Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad..."
"WHAT?"
"I'm THIRSTY...Can I have a drink of water??"
"I told you NO! If you ask again I'll have to spank you!!"
Five minutes later... "Daaaa-aaaad..."
"WHAT??!!"
"When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a drink of water?"
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