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| Posted by brandon issler on 09-Aug-2005 | Keeps informedKeeps informed on business issues: Subscribes to Playboy and National Enquirer.
Listens well: Has no ideas of his own.
Maintains a high degree of participation: Comes to work on time.
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| Posted by Velcro on 09-Aug-2005 | Dictionary ofDictionary of Evaluation Comments
Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations s/he keeps cranking out.
ZEALOUS ATTITUDE: Opinionated.
CHARACTER ABOVE REPROACH: Still one step ahead of the law.
UNLIMITED POTENTIAL: Will stick with us until retirement.
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| Posted by Charisma K. Carsinoger on 09-Aug-2005 | The wifeThe wife says: You want
The wife means: You want
The wife says: We need
The wife means: I want
The wife says: It's your decision
The wife means: The correct decision should be obvious
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| Posted by Wild Bill on 09-Aug-2005 | Show off:Show off: A child who is more talented than yours.
Sterilize: What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.
Storeroom: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can't quite reach anything.
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| Posted by Tom J. L on 09-Aug-2005 | Ram: TheRam: The hydrolic thingy that splits the firewood.
Hard Drive: Getting' home in the winter season.
Prompt: What you wish the mail was in the winter.
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| Posted by Jumpo Kinkytail on 09-Aug-2005 | The wifeThe wife says: I'n not upset
The wife means: Of course I'm upset you moron
The wife says: You're ... so manly
The wife means: You need a shave and sweat a lot
The wife says: Be romantic, turn out the lights
The wife means: I have flabby thighs.
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| Posted by Saer Sida on 09-Aug-2005 | Maintains professionalMaintains professional attitude: A snob.
Meticulous in attention to detail: A nitpicker.
Mover and shaker: Favors steamroller tactics without regard for other opinions.
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| Posted by Tony Klassen on 09-Aug-2005 | Internet -Internet - Where cafeteria workers put their hair.
Keyboard - Where you hang the keys to the John Deere.
Mac - Big Bob's favorite fast food.
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| Posted by Periwinkle on 09-Aug-2005 | The wifeThe wife says: You have to learn to communicate.
The wife means: Just agree with me.
The wife says: Are you listening to me?
The wife means: [Too late, your doomed.]
The wife says: Yes
The wife means: No
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| Posted by Ronald A. Court on 09-Aug-2005 | Dictionary ofDictionary of Evaluation Comments
Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations s/he keeps cranking out.
VERY CREATIVE: Finds 22 reasons to do anything except original work.
USES RESOURSES WELL: Delegates everything.
DESERVES PROMOTION: Create new title to make h/h feel appreciated.
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| Posted by Dan Linsky on 09-Aug-2005 | These translationsThese translations are for all of you wonderful women out there, so that you will know what we really mean when we say...
"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Translated:* "I have no idea how it works."
"TAKE A BREAK, HONEY. YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."
Translated:* "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
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| Posted by Pretzelkin on 09-Aug-2005 | Log On:Log On: Makin' the wood stove hotter.
Log Off: Don't add no wood.
Monitor: Keepin' an eye on the wood stove.
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| Posted by danny on 09-Aug-2005 | Straightforward:Straightforward: Blunt and insensitive.
Strong adherence to principles: Stubborn.
Tactful in dealing with superiors: Knows when to keep mouth shut.
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| Posted by grayson on 09-Aug-2005 | INFLATION: CuttingINFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
MYTH: A female moth.
MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better.
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| Posted by kalee on 09-Aug-2005 | These translationsThese translations are for all of you wonderful women out there, so that you will know what we really mean when we say...
"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Translated:* "What did you catch me at?"
"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Translated:* "No one will ever see us alive again."
"WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."
Translated:* "I make the messes; she cleans them up."
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| Posted by Horn E. Guy on 09-Aug-2005 | Excels inExcels in sustaining concentration but avoids confrontations: Ignores everyone.
Excels in the effective application of skills: Makes a good cup of coffee.
Exceptionally well qualified: Has committed no major blunders to date.
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| Posted by catherine chsksi on 09-Aug-2005 | Dictionary ofDictionary of Evaluation Comments
Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations s/he keeps cranking out.
MAINTAINS PROFESSIONAL ATTITUDE: A snob.
KEEN SENSE OF HUMOR: Knows lots of dirty jokes.
STRONG ADHERENCE TO PRINCIPLES: Stubborn.
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| Posted by Kendra N. Herron on 09-Aug-2005 | Visionary: CannotVisionary: Cannot handle paperwork or any project that lasts less than a week.
Well organized: Does too much busywork.
Will go far: Relative of management.
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| Posted by Cornelius on 09-Aug-2005 | Takes advantageTakes advantage of every opportunity to progress: Buys drinks for superiors.
Takes pride in work: Conceited.
Unlimited potential: Will stick with us until retirement.
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| Posted by Richard Fraser on 09-Aug-2005 | Willing toWilling to take calculated risks: Doesn't mind spending someone else's money.
Zealous attitude: Opinionated.
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| Posted by The Joker on 09-Aug-2005 | Full name:Full name: What you call your child when you're mad at him.
Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.
Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
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| Posted by Kathryn C. Buford on 09-Aug-2005 | Bridge builder:Bridge builder: Likes to compromise.
Character above reproach: Still one step ahead of the law.
Charismatic: No interest in any opinion but his own.
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| Posted by jacob m on 09-Aug-2005 | Dictionary ofDictionary of Evaluation Comments
Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations s/he keeps cranking out.
INDIFFERENT TO INSTRUCTION: Knows more than superiors.
STERN DISCIPLINARIAN: A real jerk.
TACTFUL IN DEALING WITH SUPERIORS: Knows when to keep mouth shut.
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| Posted by HoolieBear on 09-Aug-2005 | Expresses selfExpresses self well: Can string two sentences together.
Gets along extremely well with superiors and subordinates alike: A coward.
Happy: Paid too much.
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| Posted by Matt G on 09-Aug-2005 | Dictionary ofDictionary of Evaluation Comments
Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations s/he keeps cranking out.
GETS ALONG EXTREMELY WELL WITH SUPERIORS AND SUBORDINATES ALIKE: A coward.
SLIGHTLY BELOW AVERAGE: Stupid.
OF GREAT VALUE TO THE ORGANIZATION: Turns in work on time.
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| Posted by Yo Momma on 09-Aug-2005 | Verbal: AbleVerbal: Able to whine in words
Whodunit: None of the kids that live in your house.
Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into "get a sponge."
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| Posted by Pumpkin Pie on 09-Aug-2005 | Varicose --Varicose -- Located nearby
Vein -- Conceited
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| Posted by Chris Hammond on 09-Aug-2005 | Chip: WhatChip: What to munch on.
Micro Chip: What's left in the bottom of the bag.
Infrared: Where the left-overs go when Fred's around.
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| Posted by Tom Fell on 09-Aug-2005 | Alert toAlert to company developments: An office gossip.
Approaches difficult problems with logic: Finds someone else to do the job.
Average: Not too bright.
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| Posted by Make Me A. Laugh on 09-Aug-2005 | Download: Gettin'Download: Gettin' the firewood off the pickup.
Mega Hertz: When yer not careful down loadin'.
Floppy Disk: Whatcha git from pilin' too much firewood.
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