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():nerd jokes (650): Blackjack and tipping


Posted by Kara on 13-Aug-2005

Blackjack and tipping

A blackjack dealer and a player with a thirteen count in his hand were arguing about whether or not it was appropriate to tip the dealer.

The player said, 'When I get bad cards, it's not the dealer's fault. Accordingly, when I get good cards, the dealer obviously had nothing to do with it so, why should I tip him?'

The dealer said, 'When you eat out do you tip the waiter?'

'Yes.'

'Well then, he serves you food, I'm serving you cards so you should tip me.'

'Okay, but, the waiter gives me what I ask for. I'll take an eight.'


   

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():nerd jokes (650): Carpentry errors. . .


Posted by AmBeRrrrrrrr on 13-Aug-2005

Carpentry errors. . .

A carpet-layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. 'No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,' he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump.

As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. 'Here,' she said, handing him his pack of cigarettes. 'I found them in the hallway.'

'Now,' she said, 'if only I could find my parakeet. '


   

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():nerd jokes (650): Hey! Hay!


Posted by Jackson Relter on 13-Aug-2005

Hey! Hay!

A clergyman walking down a country lane and sees a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off.

'You look hot, my son,' said the cleric. 'why don't you rest a moment, and I'll give you a hand.'

'No thanks,' said the young man. 'My father wouldn't like it.'

'Don't be silly,' the minister said. 'Everyone is entitled to a break. Come and have a drink of water.'

Again the young man protested that his father would be upset. Losing his patience, the clergyman said, 'Your father must be a real slave driver. Tell me where I can find him and I'll give him a piece of my mind!'

'Well,' replied the young farmer, 'he's under the load of hay.'


   

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():nerd jokes (650): Fire!


Posted by Cronic U. Bobinstein on 13-Aug-2005

Fire!

There were 3 guys who got caught by the Vietnamese. One a Japanese, one a Chamorro, and one a Bangladesh. The 3 men knew that the Vietnamese are afraid of Mother Nature, so they made a plan. One of the Vietnamese called the Japanese guy. They brought him to a room where they will kill him. The Vietnamese aimed a gun to the Japanese. They said "Ready, Aim-" Then the Japanese said "Thunder!" The Vietnamese ran away screaming. The Japanese was free.
Next they took the Chamorro to the same room. They aimed the gun to him and said "Ready, Aim-" The Chamorro said "Lightning!" So the Vietnamese ran away again. And the Chamorro was free.
Next they took the Bangladesh to the same room and aimed the gun to him. The Bangladesh was still thinking of what to say. The Vietnamese said "Ready, Aim-" Then the Bangladesh said "Fire!"
*BAM* *BAM* The Bangladesh died.
   

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():nerd jokes (650): Pig headed


Posted by kate lyons on 13-Aug-2005
Pig headed
A man walks into a butchers and says"Excuse me sir, but have you got a pigs head?" The butcher replies "why of course we have." the man turned to the butcher and said, "well then give me a pound of mince u porky faced bastard!"
   

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():nerd jokes (650): Pirates


Posted by Rey Jose on 13-Aug-2005
Pirates
did you hear about the deaf pirate.

he had no BUCCANEERS
   

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