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():little johnny (1883): Bow Legged


Posted by Deborah L. Dallmeyer on 09-Aug-2005

Bow Legged

A boy would walk down the street and whenever he saw someone with bowed legs would point at them and yell, "Hey look at that bow legged bastard!"

Well his parents tried to break him of this and finally decided that the child needed some refinement.

So they sent him off to a private school where he read the classics, listened to classical music, all the things that are considered cultured.

When the boy went home he spoke to his parents in a dignified manner. After dinner they decided to go for a walk.

Upon spotting a bow legged man walking on the opposite side of the street he said, "So, tell me father - who are these men with balls in parentheses?"

   

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():little johnny (1883): Zoo Visit


Posted by Lance J. Gerner on 09-Aug-2005

Zoo Visit

A father and his small son were standing in front of the tiger's cage at the zoo.

Father was explaining how ferocious and strong tigers are and junior was taking it all in with a serious expression.

Dad," the boy said finally, "if the tiger got out of his cage and ate you up ..."

"Yes, son?" the father said expectantly.

"What bus should I take home?" the boy finished.

   

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():little johnny (1883): Weight Loss?


Posted by ash c. c on 09-Aug-2005

Weight Loss?

This little boy wakes up 3 nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parents room.

Finally one morning he goes to his mom and says, "Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noises and when I look in your bedroom you're bouncing up and down on him."

His mom is taken by surprise and says, "Oh... well...ah....well I'm bouncing on his stomach because he's fat and that makes him thin again."

The boy says, Well, that won't work!"

His mom says, "Why not?"

The boy replies, "Because the lady next door comes by after you leave each day and blows him back up!"


   

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():little johnny (1883): Sailors Hat


Posted by Amanda S. Fletcher on 09-Aug-2005

Sailors Hat

A small boy walked into a men's room.

He saw a sailor in full dress uniform.

The little boy got really excited, and asked the sailor, "Are you a REAL Sailor???"

The sailor replied, "Why, yes, son, I am. Would you like to wear my hat?"

The little boy said, "Yes!!" and put on the hat.

A Marine entered the bathroom. The little boy, very excitedly asked, "Mister, Mister, are you a REAL Marine???"

The Marine answered, "Yes, son, I am! Why, do you wanta suck my dick?"

The little boy exclaimed, "I'm not a real Sailor! I'm just wearing the hat!!!"

   

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():little johnny (1883): Restaurant Visit


Posted by funny jokes on 09-Aug-2005
Restaurant Visit
The maitre d' of a fashionable restaurant looked up and saw three little girls standing in the waiting area. They were dressed in their mother's clothes, had on high-heeled shoes and were wearing lots of make-up.

The lunch crowd hadn't started to arrive yet so he decided to treat them like regular guests just to see what they were up to. He seated them at a table and asked what they would like to order.

The first little girl ordered a martini, the second one asked for a margarita and the third one said, "I'd like to have a douche...my mother says they're very refreshing."

   

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():little johnny (1883): Bitter End


Posted by hiyayaywhopee on 09-Aug-2005
Bitter End
Little Johnny's teacher asked him, "Johnny, give me a sentence using the words, "bitter end" in it.

Little Johnny thought for a moment and replies, "Our dog chased our cat and he bitter end."

   

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