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| Posted by Jocky on 11-Aug-2005 | Boxing RefereeAnd then there was the boxing referee who used to work for NASA; everytime a fighter would go down, he'd start counting "10, 9, 8...."
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| Posted by anna hindu on 11-Aug-2005 | The GolfersOne of the regular foursome was sick, so a new member named George filled in. He was very good and pleasant company so they asked him to join them again the following Sunday. "9.30 okay?"
George said, "Fine, but I may be about ten minutes late. Wait for me."
The following Sunday George showed up right on time. Not only that he played left-handed and beat them.
They agreed to meet the following Sunday at 9.30. George again said, "Okay, but I may be about ten minutes late. Wait for me."
The next Sunday there was George, punctual to the dot. This time he played right-handed and beat them again. "Okay, for 9.30 next Sunday?" one of the foursome asked.
George said, "Sure if I??™m ten minutes late??¦"
Another golfer jumped in. "Wait a minute??¦ You always say you may be ten minutes late. But you??™re always right on time and you beat us whether you play right or left handed."
George said, "Well, that??™s true ??“ I??™m superstitious. If I wake up and my wife is sleeping on her right side, I play right-handed. If she??™s sleeping on her left side, I play left-handed."
"What if she??™s lying on her back?"
George said, "That??™s when I??™m ten minutes late!"
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| Posted by J D on 11-Aug-2005 | Exam for athletes...The following is a college entrance exam for athletes.
Time Limit: 3 Days.
Write Your Name: ________________________________________
(20 point bonus if spelled correctly).
1. What language is spoken in Germany?
2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions - OR - Give the FIRST name of Michael Jordan.
3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to
____ (a) build a bridge
____ (b) lead an army or
____ (c) WRITE A PLAY
4. What religion is the Pope? (check only one)
____ (a) Jewish
____ (b) Catholic
____ (c) Hindu
____ (d) Polish
5. Advanced Math: How many feet is 0.0 meters?
6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 12?
7. How many commandments was Moses given? (approximately)
8. What are people in America's far NORTH called?
____ (a) Westerners
____ (b) Southerners
____ (c) NORTHerners
9. Spell the name of the current President of the US. (George Bush)
_______________________________
10. Six kings of England have been called George, the last one being George the Sixth.
Name the previous five.
11. Where does rain come from?
____ (a) Wall Mart
____ (b) Kmart
____ (c) Canada
____ (d) the sky
12. Can you explain Einstein's Theory of Relativity?
____ (a) yes
____ (b) no
13. What are coat hangers used for?
14. The Star Spangled Banner is the National Anthem for which country?
15. Explain Le Chateliers Principle of Dynamic Equilibrium -OR- spell your name in Capital Letters.
16. Where is the basement in a four story building located?
17. Which part of America produces the most oranges?
____ (a) Minnnesota
____ (b) Florida
____ (c) Canada
____ (d) Wisconsin
18. More advanced math. If you have three pears, how many pears do you have?
19. What does NBC (National Broadcasting Corp.) stand for?
20. The Cornell University tradition for efficiency began when (approximately)?
____ (a) B.C
____ (b) A.D.
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| Posted by Mike Rotch on 11-Aug-2005 | BengalsDo you know why the Cincinnati Bengals were the last NFL team to get a website?
Because they couldnt put three W's in a row.
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| Posted by dominick s. laporte on 11-Aug-2005 | The 2 deer hunters.Two guys are out hunting deer...
The first guy says, "Did you see that?...pointing to the sky."
"No," the second guy says.
"Well, a bald eagle just flew overhead!" the first guy says.
"Oh," says the second guy.
A couple of minutes later, pointing to a far ridge, the first guy says, "Did you see that?"
"See what?" the second guy asks.
"Are you blind? There was a big, black bear walking on that hill, over there!"
"Yah, Ok", says the second guy again with a bit of irritation in his voice.
A few minutes later the first guy says: "Did you see that?"
This time pointing behind them.
By now, the second guy is getting very aggravated and says, "Yah, I SAW IT!"
And the first guy says: "Then why did you step in it?"
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| Posted by Valley Canuck on 11-Aug-2005 | For Atlanta Falcon Fans!A new arrival in Hell was brought before the devil. The devil told his demon to put the man to work on a rock pile with a 20-pound sledge hammer in 95 degree heat with 95% humidity.
At the end of the day, the devil went to see how the man was doing, only to find him smiling and singing as he pounded rocks. The man explained that the heat and hard labor were very similar to those on his beloved farm back in Georgia.
The devil told his demon to turn up the heat to 120 degrees, with 100% humidity. At the end of the next day, the devil again checked on the new man,and found him still happy to be sweating and straining. The man explained that it felt like the old days, when he had to clean out his silo in the middle of August on his beloved farm back in Georgia.
At that, the devil told his demon to lower the temperature for this man to -20 degrees with a 40 mph wind. At the end of the next day, the devil was confident that he would find the man miserable. But, the man was instead singing louder than ever,twirling the sledge hammer like a baton. When the devil asked him why, he was so happy, the man answered,
"Cold day in hell, the Falcons must be in the SuperBowl!"
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