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():little johnny (1883): Boys Vs Girls


Posted by Renee D. Primmer on 09-Aug-2005

Boys Vs Girls

"Equal" is not always synonymous with "the same." Men and women are created equal. But, boys and girls are not born the same.

1.You throw a little girl a ball, and it will hit her in the nose. You throw a little boy a ball, and he will try to catch it. Then it will hit him in the nose.

2.You dress your little girl in her Easter Sunday best, and she'll look just as pretty when you finally make it to church an hour later. You dress a boy in his Easter Sunday best, and he'll somehow find every mud puddle from your home to the church, even if you're driving there.

3. Boys' rooms are usually messy. Girls' rooms are usually messy, except it's a good smelling mess.

4. A baby girl will pick up a stick and look in wonderment at what nature has made. A baby boy will pick up a stick and turn it into a gun.

5. When girls play with Barbie and Ken dolls, they like to dress them up and play house with them. When boys play with Barbie and Ken dolls, they like to tear off their appendages.

6. Boys couldn't care less if their hair is unruly. If their bangs got cut a quarter-inch too short, girls would rather lock themselves in their room for two weeks than be seen in public.

7. Baby girls find mommy's makeup and almost instintively start painting their face. Baby boys find mommy's makeup and almost instinctively start painting the walls.

8. If a girl accidently burps, she will be embarrassed. If a boy accidently burps, he will follow it with a dozen fake belches.

9. Boys grow their fingernails long because because they're too lazy to cut them. Girls grow their fingernails long - not because they look nice - but because they can dig them into a boys arm.

10. Girls are attracted to boys, even at an early age. At an early age, boys are attracted to dirt.

11. By the age of 6, boys will stop giving their dad kisses. By the age of 6, girls will stop giving their dad kisses unless he bribes them with candy.

12. Most baby girls talk before boys do. Before boys talk, they learn how to make machine-gun noises.

13. Girls will cry if someone dies in a movie. Boys will cry if you turn off the VCR after they've watched "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" movie three times in a row.

14. Girls turn into women. Boys turn into bigger boys.

   

3 people have rated this joke:
4.33/10
     

():little johnny (1883): The question?


Posted by Cam Salisbury on 09-Aug-2005

The question?

Mother: "Why are you home from school so early?"

Son: "I was the only one who could answer a question."

Mother: "Oh, really? What was the question?

Son: " 'Who threw the eraser at the principal?' "

Submitted by calamjo
Edited by Tantilazing

   

1 people have rated this joke:
4.00/10
     

():little johnny (1883): Children


Posted by jana on 09-Aug-2005

Children

A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes after....."Da-ad...."

"What?" dad said.

"I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?"

"No, You had your chance. Lights out."

Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....."

"WHAT?" "I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water?"

"I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"

Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad....."

"WHAT?!"

"When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"

Submitted by Curtis
edited by calamjo
   

1 people have rated this joke:
4.00/10
     

():little johnny (1883): Puberty


Posted by APRIL L. PALMER on 09-Aug-2005

Puberty

A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father.

She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut, eating a snack cake.

The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your Twinkie."

She says, "Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too."

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo
   

16 people have rated this joke:
4.00/10
     

():little johnny (1883): The day wizard!!!!!


Posted by Joe Skager on 12-Aug-2005
The day wizard!!!!!
wat happened to the gay wizard?

he went off with a puff
   

3 people have rated this joke:
4.00/10
     

():little johnny (1883): Bommerrang


Posted by ness on 13-Aug-2005
Bommerrang
What do you call a bommerrang that dose not
come back?
A stick!!!!
   

3 people have rated this joke:
4.00/10
     

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