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| Posted by Shadow Rat on 09-Aug-2005 | BraggadocioFour guys are drinking in a bar, bragging about their sons.
"My son," the first one says, "started out washing cars at dealership, but now owns the dealership and just gave one of his friends four new cars of his choice!"
"My son," said the second, "started out serving lunch in a real estate office, but now owns the real estate office and just gave one of his friends a new mansion!"
"My son," said the third, "started out sweeping the floors at the Stock Exchange, but now practically owns the Stock Exchange and just gave one of his friends a $1,000,000 in stock."
"Well," the fourth guy said, "my son's turned out to be a bit of a disappointment. He's a gay hairdresser and he has SEVERAL boyfriends. On the plus side, between them, they gave him four cars, a mansion, and a million dollars in stock for his birthday."
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| Posted by kirsten on 09-Aug-2005 | Deadbeat in a BarA man walked into a bar on a slow night and sat down. After a few minutes, the bartender asked him if he wanted a drink, and he said ???No thanks, I don't drink, I tried it once but I didn`t like it!??? So the bartender said, ???Well would you like a cigarette,??? but the man said ???No, I don't smoke, I tried it once but I didn`t like it!??? The bartender asked him if he'd like to play a game of pool, and again the man said ???No I don't like pool, I tried it once but I didn`t like it. As a matter of fact I wouldn`t be here at all, but I'm waiting on my son!??? The bartender said, ???Your only son I presume!!???
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| Posted by Panny Heron on 09-Aug-2005 | Dickens and the MartCharles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender asks, ???Olive or twist????
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| Posted by Miles T. Cronin on 09-Aug-2005 | Dog vs. FoxWhat is the difference between a dog and a fox? About five drinks.
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| Posted by little e on 09-Aug-2005 | Drinking BuddiesTwo men are sitting next to each other in an Irish-style pub in New York City. They both order pints of Guinness. One of them turns to the other and says "So where are you from, then?"
"I'm from Ireland."
"Me too! I'll drink to that."
They both finish their pints and order two more.
"Where in Ireland are you from?"
"Dublin."
"Me too! I'll drink to that."
They both finish their pints and order two more.
"Where in Dublin are you from?"
"The East Side."
"The East Side? Me too! What a coincidence! I'll drink to that!" They both finish their pints and order two more.
"Where on the East Side are you from?"
"McDonagh Street."
"Me too! This is incredible! I'll drink to that."
As the bartender pours them another two pints, another customer at the bar says to him, "That's amazing! I can't believe they're from the same street in Dublin. What's going on?"
"Oh, it's nothing amazing," says the bartender,"it's just the Ferguson twins getting sloshed again."
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| Posted by MamasGirL Angel on 09-Aug-2005 | Drunk SuperheroTwo guys were sitting at a bar on the 40th floor of a skyscraper and were totally plastered. The first guy said, ''Hey, I'll bet you a million bucks that I can jump out of this window, fly around the building, and land right here next to you!'' Being so totally wasted, plus hearing a completely impossible bet, the 2nd guy replied, ''YOU'RE ON!'' So the first guy jumped out of the window, flew around the building, and came right back to the same spot. ''WOW,'' screamed the 2nd guy, ''That was incredible. Do it again!'' So the first guy jumped out of the window, flew around the building, and landed right next to his friend. ''That is remarkable. Do it one more time!"
''Ok,'' said the first guy, ''But if I do it again, when I come back you have to do it."
The second man agreed, and with that, once again, the first jumped out, flew around, and came back. ''Your turn,'' he said.
So the 2nd guy stepped up to the window. ''This is easy. He did it, so can I!" The much pumped second man, took a deep breath, and heaved his body out the window. He fell straight to the ground and died instantly upon impact. Calmly the first man walked back to the bar and ordered another beer. The bartender remarked, ''You sure are mean when you're drunk, Superman!'''
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