Funny quotes

Funny quotes
http://www.jokesnquotes.com/ - Funny quotes
  Categories

funny quotes

animal jokes

bar jokes

holiday jokes

travel & vacation jokes

sport jokes

other funny jokes

signs of our times

nerd jokes

just do it

funny laws

funny definitions

blind jokes

funny bumper stickers

crazy jokes

food jokes

funny ads

little johnny

school humor

top list jokes

funny thoughts



Navigation:

· jokes and quotes
· Add joke
· New jokes
· Last 5 jokes
· Best jokes
· Search jokes
  Service menu

· Freedback
· Recommend Us
· Subscription

  Our friends

There isn't content right now for this block.

():food jokes (113): Burger King Joke


Posted by Frank Geritano on 11-Aug-2005

Burger King Joke

There were three jazz players getting ready for a concert. One got done early so he went to a Burger King. He went up to the manager who got mad easily and said,"I want a burger 2,3,4, a juicy burger 2,3,4, not too juicy and not too plain in the grove 2,3,4, in the grove 2,3,4." The manager decided not to let this guy bother him. Now the second jazz player comes in and says,"I want some fries 2,3,4, some salty fries 2,3,4, not too salty and not too plain in the grove 2,3,4, in the grove 2,3,4." Now the manager is mad and says,"If one more person comes in here and sings that stupid joke I'm going to scream!" So the third jazz player comes in and says,"I want a soda 2,3,4, a fizzy soda 2,3,4, not too fizzy and not too plain in the grove 2,3,4, in the grove 2,3,4. Now the manager is furious and turns around, takes off his apron and says,"Kiss my butt 2,3,4, my hairy butt 2,3,4, not to the left and not to the right in the grove 2,3,4, in the grove 2,3,4!
   

0 people have rated this joke:
0.00/10
     

():food jokes (113): english, irishman, scotsman joke


Posted by Recai Yalgin on 11-Aug-2005

english, irishman, scotsman joke

There was an englishman irishman and a scotsman who worked on a buildin site.

it was time for their dinner so the englishman opened his bait box and said "if i get cheese sandwiches tommorrow i will throw myself off that bridge" the scotsman and irishman say the same


so the next day comes and the englishman has cheese sandwiches so he jumps off the bridge

the scotsman looks and he also has cheese sandwiches so he jumps off the bridge and the irishman looks and he also has cheese sandwiches so he jumps off the bridge


at the funeral the wives meet up and the englishmans wife says "i could of just made him another kind of sandwich" the scotsmans wife says i would of got another kind of cheese" the irishmans wife says i do not know why he jumped he made his own sandwiches.
   

0 people have rated this joke:
0.00/10
     

():food jokes (113): The Onion


Posted by ResdntEvilFreak on 11-Aug-2005

The Onion

Q:what's round,white and giggles?

A:a tickled onion

   

0 people have rated this joke:
0.00/10
     

():food jokes (113): No Tie - Oh Well


Posted by Sabri Al-Safi on 11-Aug-2005

No Tie - Oh Well

Two guys decide to go to a newer restaurant they had been hearing good things about.
Upon being greeted at the front door they were promptly informed that they would not be allowed to enter since neither of them had a tie on.

While walking back to the car the driver remembers that there was a tie he had left in the trunk some time back.

He opens the trunk and sure enough - He finds the tie, his friend says - Well - what about me?

While the first guy is putting his tie on, He jokes to the other - why not just wrap those jumper cables around your neck - and for whatever reason the second guy agrees.

They walk back in and the host says: "Alright guys - your catching me in a good mood, I'll go ahead and seat you - but you listen good.

You two better not start nothin!"
   

0 people have rated this joke:
0.00/10
     

():food jokes (113): Gold joke


Posted by rick close on 11-Aug-2005
Gold joke
Five men were selecter for a survey. They were taken away to a hotel called the goldings. There they found the place covered top to bottom in golden fittnigs and furnishings, the doors were gold , the floor was gold , the roof was gold , the stairs were gold .Every thing in the lobby was gold.

They were shown to there rooms by a maid , she had golden hair , golden dress , golden tights , golden shoes , golden piney and a golden hat. She shown each man in to his room.


The rooms were decorated in yet more gold. Golden beds , golden pillows , golden windows, golden toothbrushes , golden chocolates, golden soap, golden bathrobes, golden pictures .

They woke up that morning to have a bath in a golden bath with golden taps , golden mirrors , golden tiles and a golden toilet.


They were led to the golden diningroom via the golden staircase. The dining room was exquist. Golden walls , golden chairs, golden table goldrn knives and falks , golden spoons and a golden table cloth.


Theh golden maids came in and asked if they would like cerial or poridge for breakfast , while the men talked about how plush the place was.

The first man asked for poridge , as did the second third and forth , the fith asked for cerial.


and ladies and gentialmen this proves that 4 in 5 men prefur poridge!
   

0 people have rated this joke:
0.00/10
     

():food jokes (113): Constantly complaining about the temperature


Posted by Oldmanshiver on 13-Aug-2005
Constantly complaining about the temperature
A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant. First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour.

Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth and never once got angry. So finally, a second customer asked him why he didn't throw out the pest.

"Oh, I really don't care or mind," said the waiter with a smile. "We don't even have an air conditioner."


   

0 people have rated this joke:
0.00/10
     

Jokes search
Input keyword:



Adversting