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():other funny jokes (4827): Can I Smell Your Pussy?


Posted by Eamonn Collins on 14-Aug-2005

Can I Smell Your Pussy?

A man walks into a bar and sits down next to a really good-looking woman and orders a beer.

After a while, he turns to the woman and says, ?Can I smell your pussy?.

She gets really pissed and says, ?Hell NO you pervert!!?.

Then the man says, ?Oh! Must be your feet.?.
   

3 people have rated this joke:
7.00/10
     

():other funny jokes (4827): After spending 3-1/2 hours enduring the long...


Posted by Nate M. F on 07-Aug-2005

After spending 3-1/2 hours enduring the long...

After spending 3-1/2 hours enduring the long lines, surly clerks and insane regulations at the department of motor vehicles, I stopped at a toy store to pick up a gift for my son.

I brought my selection -- a baseball bat -- to the cash register. "Cash or charge?" the clerk asked.

"Cash," I snapped. Then apologizing for my rudeness, I explained, "I've spent the afternoon at the motor-vehicle bureau."

"Shall I giftwrap the bat?" the clerk asked sweetly. "Or are you going back there?"

   

3 people have rated this joke:
6.67/10
     

():other funny jokes (4827): Women Driver


Posted by Meggi-Poo on 09-Aug-2005

Women Driver

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident.

Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man, that's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."



Flattered, the man replied, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely!"

This must be a sign from God!" The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."



Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"



The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police..."


   

3 people have rated this joke:
6.67/10
     

():other funny jokes (4827): Things I Learned from Children


Posted by William C. Herbert on 14-Aug-2005

Things I Learned from Children

If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough
to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a superman
cape.

It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by
20-foot room.

When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh," it's already too
late.

Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year
old man says they can only do it in the movies.

If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes it does
not leak--it explodes.

A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. foot house 4
inches deep.

Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four-year-old.

Super glue is forever.

McGyver can teach us many things we don't want to know.

No matter how much Jello you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk
on water.

Pool filters do not like Jello.

VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

Always look in the oven before you turn it on.

The fire department in San Jose has at least a 5-minute response time.

The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

It will, however, make cats dizzy.

Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

   

5 people have rated this joke:
6.60/10
     

():other funny jokes (4827): expensive barbie


Posted by Penguin66 on 14-Aug-2005
expensive barbie
A guy walks into the Toys-R-Us toy shop in downtown Cleveland
and says to the assistant: "Could you please show me your Barbie
dolls? My daughter's birthday is today and I have to get
something she will love!"
She says, "Certainly, sir. Here, we have:

*Fashion Barbie @ $15.95
*Vacation Barbie @ $15.95
*Housewife Barbie @ $15.95 and
*Divorcee Barbie @ $215.95!"


The guy asks in astonishment,"Why is "Divorcee Barbie so much?
She looks the same to me."

The assistant answers, "Well, sir, Divorcee Barbie comes
complete with Ken's car, Ken's house, Ken's golf clubs, his
season tickets to the Tribe and the Browns, his Gold MasterCard,
his yacht and his summer home."

   

7 people have rated this joke:
6.43/10
     

():other funny jokes (4827): Sweet Talker


Posted by a man named rob on 09-Aug-2005
Sweet Talker
On a plane, a man and his wife are offered tea and both accept. The man tries to be sweet to his wife, saying ???Pass the sugar, sugar.... Pass the honey, honey.???

Then he says, ???Pass the tea, you old bag.???
   

3 people have rated this joke:
6.33/10
     

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