|
|
 |
|
 |
 |
| Posted by EMMI E. COOL on 12-Aug-2005 | Cannibal and ClownQ: What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal while eating the clown?
A: "Does this taste funny to you?"
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Paddy O. Furniture on 12-Aug-2005 | Little Johnny- F in ArithmeticLittle Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
"Why?" asks the father.
"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?' I said '6'"
"But that's right!"
"Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'"
His father asks, "What's the fucking difference?"
Johnny says, "That's exactly what I said!"
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by SongBird5685 on 12-Aug-2005 | Little Johnny RidesLittle Johnny is passing his parents' bedroom in the middle of the night, in search of a glass of water. Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he peeks in and catches his folks in The Act. Before dad can even react, Little Johnny exclaims "Oh, boy! Horsy ride! Daddy, can I ride on your back?"
Daddy, relieved that Johnny's not asking more uncomfortable questions, and seeing the opportunity not to break his stride, agrees. Johnny hops on and daddy starts going to town. Pretty soon mommy starts moaning and gasping.
Johnny cries out "Hang on tight, Daddy! This is the part where me and the milkman usually get bucked off!"
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by april pe on 12-Aug-2005 | One-UpmanshipA little boy and a little girl, on a beach, are arguing. Little boy says to the little girl, "I have a Nintendo!"
Little girl says, "Oh yeah, well I have a Sega and a Nintendo!"
Little boy says, "So, my dad's a doctor!"
Little girls says, "My dad's an astronaut!"
Back and forth they went, each one trying to outdo the other until finally the little boy pulls down his shorts and proclaims, "But I have on of these!!!!" and shows the little girl his penis.
The little girl, not being able to retaliate, gets up and goes home. The next day, the little girl spots the little boy and proudly announces, "My mom said that with one of these (pointing to her's) I can get as many of those as I want!!!!!!
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Joe Mama on 12-Aug-2005 | BabyYesterday my daughter and I drove to the babysitters house to pick up my two-year old son. We were about to get in the car to go home when I noticed a baby birds in a nest in a nearby bush.
I gently picked up one of the birds to show my daughter and my son. "See? It's a baby," I said, trying to calm down my son, who was scared of the little bird.
"I don't want a baby, I don't want a baby," he was saying.
"He sounds just like his father," my daughter replied!
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
():little johnny (1883): Worst Analagies Written By High Schoolers |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Christina E. Stanley on 12-Aug-2005 | Worst Analagies Written By High SchoolersWorst Analagies Written By High Schoolers
He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.
The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup.
From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.
Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.
Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access T:flw.quid55328.com\aaakk/ch@ung but gets T:\flw.quidaaakk/ch@ung by mistake.
Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like "Second Tall Man."
Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.
They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.
John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.
His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
