|
|
 |
|
 |
 |
| Posted by Kyle Lusis on 09-Aug-2005 | Celibacy testThree young candidates who want to enter into religious life are told that they have to pass one more test: The Celibacy Test.
The religious leader leads them into a room, and tells them to undress, and a small bell is tied to each man's penis.
In comes a beautiful woman, wearing a sexy belly dancer costume. She begins to dance sensually around the first candidate. Even before she has begun to remove her veils: *Ting-a-ling* goes the little bell...
"Oh Albert," says the religious man, "I am so disappointed in your complete lack of self-control. Go take a long, cold shower and pray about your carnal weakness."
As Albert leaves, the dancer then continues, slowly dancing around the second candidate and peeling off her layers of veils. As the last veil drops: *Ting-a-ling* goes the bell...
"Joshua, Joshua," sighs their elder.
"You too are unable to withstand your carnal desires. Go take a long, cold shower and pray for forgiveness."
The dancer then proceeds to dance her sensuous dance around the third candidate. Slowly around him she dances, now devoid of all of her veils, but the third candidate remains unmoved.
"Richard, my son, I am truly proud of you," says the Monsignor.
"Only you have the true strength of character needed to become a great priest. Now, go and join your weaker brethren in the shower."
*Ting-a-ling* goes the bell...
|
1 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
| Posted by mehru batra on 09-Aug-2005 | WalletTwo fishermen were out on the lake when one of them dropped his wallet.
As they watched the wallet float down to the depths of the lake, a carp came along and snatched up the wallet.
Soon came another carp who stole it away and then a third joined in.
"That's the first time I've ever seen carp-to-carp walleting," remarked one of the fisherman.
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Yisman
|
1 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by The Joker on 10-Aug-2005 | Jenny Craig and Mary KayQ: Why can't lesbians be on a diet and wear make-up at the same time?
A: They can't eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on their face.
|
3 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Evan Lemoine on 10-Aug-2005 | Woman Like a Condom?Q: How is a woman like a condom?
A: Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
|
1 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Allison A. Harwell on 10-Aug-2005 | EggQ: What does an egg say after it's put in a bowl of boiling water?
A: How do you expect me to get hard when I've just been laid?
|
1 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Sarah H. Griffin on 12-Aug-2005 | Super-Duper One-Liners!Here's a little bit-a-dis and a little bit-a-dat:
How can you tell the Irish guy in the hospital?
He's the one blowing the foam off of his bedpan.
===========================
Why don't Italians have acne?
It slides off.
==========================
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a black baby?
They named him Sum Ting Wong!
==========================
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horses behind?
A Mechanic.
=========================
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A Speech Impediment!
=========================
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half mast?
They're hiring.
=========================
Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?
Because they're not going to work in the future either.
=========================
Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying "Yo!"
========================
Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.
========================
How many cops does it take to push a black man down the stairs?
NONE- "He fell".
========================
Q. How do you make a cat drink?
A. Put it in a blender, and strain off the fur.
========================
Q. Why do Jewish men like to watch porno movies backward?
A. They like the part where the hooker gives the money back.
========================
Q. What is the first thing a blonde hears in the morning?
A. "See ya."
========================
Q. Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided?
A. The survivors were marooned.
========================
Q: What do Jimmy Hoffa and Linda Tripp have in common?
A: Nothing... yet.
========================
|
4 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
