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| Posted by Nevyn J. Leo on 09-Aug-2005 | ChangeA woman I work with is dating a doctor. She is also a grandmother.
One morning she was over at the doc's house when her daughter-in-law called, sort of frantic.
It seems that her grandson had swallowed a penny.
The daughter-in-law wanted her to ask the doctor if she should bring the boy in to be seen.
When she asked the doc, he calmly replied, "I don't think it's necessary, just watch him closely for any change."
Submitted by calamjo
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by Jeanna M. Garloch on 09-Aug-2005 | Which one?Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question.
"Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?"
"None," replied Johnny, "because the rest would fly away."
"Well, the answer is four," said the teacher. "But I like the way you are thinking."
Little Johnny said, "I have a question for you now. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one licking her cone, the second biting her cone, and the third one sucking her cone, which one is married?"
"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone?"
"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger. But I like the way you are thinking."
Submitting by Curtis
Edited by Glaci
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| Posted by george w. tree on 09-Aug-2005 | JackThe teacher asked little Johnny if he knows his numbers.
"Yes," he said. "I do. My father taught me."
"Good. What comes after three."
"Four," answers the boy.
"What comes after six?"
"Seven."
"Very good," says the teacher. "Your dad did a good job. What comes after ten?"
"A jack," says the kid.
Submitted by calamjo
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by Wendy on 09-Aug-2005 | Sandbox HumorFirst-grade class in Brooklyn comes in from recess.
Teacher asks Sarah: "What did you do at recess?"
Sarah says, "I played in the sand box."
Teacher says, "That's good. Go to the blackboard, and if you can write 'sand' correctly, I'll give you a fresh-baked cookie."
She does and gets a cookie.
Teacher asks Morris what he did at recess.
Morris says, "I played with Sarah in the sand box."
Teacher says, "Good. If you write 'box' correctly on the blackboard, I'll give you a fresh baked cookie."
Morris does, and gets a cookie.
Teacher then asks Mustaffa Abdul Machmoud what he did at recess.
He says, "I tried to play with Sarah and Morris, but they threw rocks at me."
Teacher says, "Threw rocks at you? That sounds like blatant racial discrimination.
If you can go the blackboard and write 'blatant racial discrimination' I'll give you a cookie."
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Glaci
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| Posted by Tim T. Tinnit on 09-Aug-2005 | The assignmentA young female teacher was giving an assignment to her Grade 6 class one day.
It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard.
Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class.
She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny Pat?"
"Well teacher, I just saw one of your garters."
"Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see you for 3 days."
The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realizing she had forgotten to title the assignment, she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard.
Suddenly there is an even louder giggle from another male student.
She quickly turns and asks, "What's so funny Billy?"
"Well miss, I just saw both of your garters."
Again she yells, "Get out of my classroom!" This time the punishment is more severe, "I don't want to see you for 3 weeks."
Embarrassed and frustrated, she drops the eraser when she turns around again. So she bends over to pick it up.
This time there is an burst of laughter from another male student.
She quickly turns to see Little Johnny leaving the classroom.
"Where do you think you are going?" she asks.
To which Little Johnny replies, "Well Miss, from what I just saw, my school days are over."
Submitted by Glaci
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by Chris W. Hoover on 09-Aug-2005 | Saying GraceA 4-year-old boy was asked to give the meal blessing before Christmas dinner.
The family members bowed their heads in expectation. He began his prayer, thanking God for all his friends, naming them one by one.
Then he thanked God for Mommy, Daddy, brother, sister, Grandma, Grandpa, and all his aunts and uncles. Then he began to thank God for the food.
He gave thanks for the turkey, the dressing, the fruit salad, the cranberry sauce, the pies, the cakes, even the Cool Whip.
Then he paused, and everyone waited, and waited.
After a long silence, the young fellow looked up at his mother and asked, "If I thank God for the broccoli, won't he know that I'm lying?"
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Glaci
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